Wednesday, October 26, 2005

No Mr. Bond... I Expect You To Be A Wuss

What kind of pansy-ass sissy boys are we raising. There used to be a backbone in the British and American people. The Brits referred to it as a stiff upper lip. I've always thought of it as brass balls. Whatever you call it, there seems to be a wussification going on. There was a time when the name James Bond meant fast cars, fast women with innuendo names ( Xenia Onatopp, Honey Ryder, Pussy Galore, etc.) and guns... lots of guns. The Bond movies would literally explode off the screen with guns blazing, tires squealing, and women saying "Oh, Jaaamessss" in a long, drawn out way letting you, the viewer, know James was getting his "reward" after saving the world for the 1000th time. That's changed thanks to movie actor panty-wastes and political correctness. I've said before that I'm not much of a movie fan. Personally most of the new stuff puts me to sleep, or allows me to play 6 degrees of separation with the script in how close the story I'm watching resembles a story I've seen four or five times already. Now we find out, thanks to an interview with the new Bond Daniel Craig, that he doesn't like guns. Roger Moore has also come out of the closet saying he never liked "small arms" and does not believe in "that sort of hero," referring to the Bond character. It's humorous to me that the two Bonds I see as poofters (to use an English phrase) are the two who don't like guns. Roger Moore always looked a little floaty in the loafers with his lacquered poodle hair, and raised eyebrow hairdresser stares, if you get my meaning. Now the new guy, Daniel Craig comes along and he looks like a younger slightly more bisexual version of Pete Townshend. (The Who guitarist) Compare the photos at both links above and tell me I'm wrong. I know I should cut the guy a little slack, but there's something not right with him. What happened to the real Bond men? Peter Sellers/David Niven (in the original Casino Royale) doesn't count, Moore = Gay, Connery = Greatness, Lazenby = sort of gay. But he was only in one forgettable role so he doesn't matter, Dalton = smooth, Brosnan = Connery and Dalton put together. Why they got rid of Brosnan is beyond me. They kept Moore around until he was nothing but a dusty fart, so why not keep Brosnan around? He's the perfect Bond... Not that I want to, but I really can't understand anything Hollywood does. Thanks to this Bond site for helping me remember the utterly forgettable Lazenby. And now we have a metrosexual with Roger Moore tendencies on the screen. Maybe I'm living too much in the past. I know that Thunderball or You Only Live Twice does not hold up as well today as it did in the 60's and 70's , but I still watch them and enjoy them for the spectacle they are. The evil henchman and villans make the movies worthwhile. The story line has changed over the years (villans are now coporations and governments), and I've adapted, but with the new film, something tells me this Bond will end up in bed with a pool boy code-named "Long Shank."


Blogger Peakah said...

This is hiliarious and I completely agree with you...

we need more PUSSY GALORE!
(I had to link to this post, I laughed my ass off)

10/27/2005 01:10:00 PM  

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