Please, Just Stop

Hollywood, and the entertainment industry as a whole, is sucking my life force down to dangerously low levels. I'll admit that I'm not much of a movie fan. I'm happier reading a book than getting a brain lock watching the drivel pushed out of Hollywood's anus. If it is possible for hundreds of books to be released each year with original ideas and plot twists, how is it not possible for Hollywood screen writers to do the same? I know there are time constraints when moving ideas from a story to a 70-90 minute on screen production, but a great new method of story telling has come from two very different people, Peter Jackson and Quentin Tarantino. Both gentlemen have introduced storytelling over time with Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Terantino's Kill Bill series. They understand the story is more important than filling a predetermined and set in stone time frame. Movie watchers have overwhelmingly responded to both men by showing they are willing to wait for the completion of a good movie even if it takes two or three years to deliver the entire product. Of course this method is not new to the publishing world. Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist was begun in February 1837 and continued as monthly installments in Bentley’s Miscellany until April of 1839, and recently Stephen King's The Green Mile was serialized over a period of six months through chap books. Granted, not every book author or movie writer/director can afford to compete with people of King's, Dicken's, or Jackson's stature when money is a concern. I understand that. But I believe that the public will reward anyone who puts forth a great product, and not just another retread story thrown together to make a quick buck. And now, showing that Hollywood has lost its way on a grand scale, take a look at some of the more recent remake ideas they have put on the moviegoer's plate. Godzilla. A favorite of Roger Ebert. That should frighten you away from this movie immediately. The Haunting. Remade from one of cinema's greatest haunted-house movies: Robert Wise's 1963 adaptation of Shirley Jackson's classic short story, "The Haunting of Hill House." The Longest Yard. Burt Reynolds must need the work. Rollerball. The movie sucked the first time. Why bother again? The Stepford Wives. Nicole Kidman is always nice to look at, but I can do without this. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. A classic from the horror field destroyed for a new generation. Psycho. Bloch's classic tale of insanity masterfully brought to the screen by Alfred Hitchcock redone as a vehicle to see Anne Heche's ass in the shower. The Amityville Horror. One of the first horror movies I ever saw in the theater. More sequels than Groundhog Day had new days, this piece of crap thankfully faded away quickly. Guess Who. Orig. movie was Guess Who's Coming To Dinner. Spencer Tracy is rolling in his grave knowing Ashton Krutcher had a part in this remake. House of Wax. New version with Paris Hilton. 'nuff said. Bad News Bears. We miss you Walter Matheu. And just announced: a remake of The Fog. Unless they have someone playing Adrienne Barbeau's part with the same same 'breast appeal' I'd say pass. I also found a great page with information on recent movies and their box office receipts. How Hollywood can stay in business is beyond my understanding. http://www.juicycerebellum.com/usedideas.htm Here's a sample of some of the worst of 2005: Movie: Assault on Precinct 13 Release Date: January 19th, 2005 Remake of: The 1976 film, Assault on Precinct 13 Domestic Total Gross: $20,040,894 Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000 Movie: Alone in the Dark Release Date: January 28th, 2005 Based on: A video game Domestic Total Gross: $5,178,569 Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $20,000,000 Movie: Constantine Release Date: February 18th, 2005 Based on: A comic book Domestic Total Gross: Approximately 75 million Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $100,000,000 Movie: Son of the Mask Release Date: February 18th, 2005 Sequel to: The Mask Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $17,000,000 Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $84,000,000 Movie: Sahara Release Date: April 8th, 2005 Based on: A book Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $68,000,000 Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $130,000,000 Movie: Jiminy Glick in La La Wood Release Date: May 6th, 2005 Based on: Martin Short's grossly unfunny television character Domestic Total Gross: Approximately $36,039 Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): Not Available Movie: The Honeymooners Release Date: June 10th, 2005 Based on: A television sitcom Domestic Gross: $12,731,737 (as of July 25th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $25,000,000 Movie: Herbie: Fully Loaded Release Date: June 22nd, 2005 Based on/Sequel to/Remake of: A bunch of lame Disney movies about a talking car Domestic Gross: $60,714,223 (as of July 25th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $50,000,000 Movie: Bewitched Release Date: June 24th, 2005 Based on: A television sitcom Domestic Gross: $59,778,163 (as of July 25th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $85,000,000 Movie: Bad News Bears Release Date: July 22nd, 2005 Remake of: The Bad News Bears Domestic Gross: $12,913,537 (as of July 25th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $35,000,000 Movie: Must Love Dogs Release Date: July 29th, 2005 Based on: A television series Domestic Gross: $26,278,000 (as of August 7th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $30,000,000 And my favorite piece of crap: Movie: The Dukes of Hazzard Release Date: August 6th, 2005 Based on: A television series Domestic Gross: $30,575,000 (as of August 7th, 2005) Approximate Production Budget (not counting advertising costs): $50,000,000