How Did We Make It? Or: FREEDOM!!!!!!!!! (See Braveheart)

I'm all American, and wouldn't understand a word of Gaelic if my life depended on it, but I hold a fond place in my heart for the country my family came from. They are from Shetland, Scotland (on my father's side) and that's why I have a link toward the bottom of the page to the Shetland newspaper. I like reading it to remind myself (not that I need reminding) that America really is the best place on earth. Usually there are stories of drunken fights, or fishing boats just missing killing a group of turtles, but every once and a while you get something like the story below. So, to the shit bucket guy I say, "Dude, just chill. Pour another whiskey with your beer and relax." http://www.shetland-news.co.uk/pages/news%20stories/August%202005/dirt_dished_on_papa_stour.htm Pete Bevington 5 August, 2005 THE FAMILY feuding which has plagued a small island off Shetland may be over after a father of five was fined £600 at Lerwick Sheriff Court yesterday (Thursday) when he admitted emptying a bucket of dog dirt over a local minister’s head. William John Walker, aged 57, said that Reverend Adrian Glover had left Papa Stour following the incident and that life on the island had been peaceful ever since. Walker had driven down to the island pier on the morning of 23 March this year where many of the island’s 25 residents had gathered to meet the ferry which was delivering stores and provisions from the Shetland mainland. The court heard that the minister had collected his box of groceries and was leaning into the footwell of his van to open the boot when Walker came up behind him and emptied a “bucket of excrement” over his head. Procurator fiscal Duncan Mackenzie told the court: “As he did so he made the comment, ‘See, we call you shithead.’” Mr Mackenzie said: “Mr Glover was literally covered in the contents of this bucket. It was all over his head, face, arms, torso and hands. “This was completely unprovoked and it would appear to be quite simply intimidating behaviour from someone who seems to be intent on perpetuating the petty, pathetic squabbling that seems to be persistent on this island.” Sheriff Graeme Napier pointed out the “sinister” aspect of the assault was that Reverend Glover had given evidence against Walker during a trial in February in which he was found not guilty of hurling a rock through the minister’s van which struck him on the head last November. However he was convicted for a breach of the peace for which sentence was deferred for 12 months. During that trial Mr Glover and his wife had been accused of faking the injuries to get Walker into trouble as part of a feud which had developed in the tiny crofting community which has seen the two families appear in the local court in relation to three separate incidents in the past year. Last year Mr Glover himself was found not guilty of cruelty to an animal after he shot a neighbour’s sheepdog claiming it had been attacking his wife’s Shetland ponies and then turned on him. The dog’s leg was later amputated. At yesterday’s hearing Walker’s defence agent Gregor Kelly said the assault on the Papa Stour pier was provoked by the history between the two families, but it had not been a premeditated attack. Mr Kelly said the father of five collected “dog muck” from his croft in a bucket and put it out with the rubbish “every six weeks or so”, to be collected by the local binman, who happened to be Mr Glover. However on this occasion instead of being collected, the rubbish bags were left split and the bucket was left on the ground. Walker had driven to the pier to meet the ferry to collect shopping and see his children off on the boat. Mr Glover had pulled his car up behind Walker’s vehicle and there had been some banter which Walker had taken to be at his expense. “There was some laughter and joking and Mr Walker rightly or wrongly thought he was the butt of the joke. Mr Glover was trying to stare Mr Walker out and he contends this was against a background of taunting ever since the trial in February,” Mr Kelly said. “Against that background Mr Walker perceived this episode as the last straw, snapped and emptied the bucket of excrement…He tells me he immediately regretted his behaviour to stoop to such levels of degrading behaviour.” Mr Kelly said that Walker had left the court last February “fully determined that a line be drawn under the acrimonious battles with Mr Glover in the past”, and asked the sheriff to bear in mind what had led up to this incident. Mr Kelly said the Glovers had now left Papa Stour. “It appears that the island is harmonious once again,” he said. Sheriff Napier described it as a “disgusting episode”, and the fact it involved dog’s excrement made it even more serious because of the risk of disease. He said: “This behaviour is unbelievable especially after I placed you in the trust of the court a matter of weeks before.” Later yesterday a separate case against Walker’s 29 year old wife Jane for assaulting Mrs Glover in February was dismissed, as were three charges against Mr Glover and his 16 year old son Benjamin for allowing the teenager to drive a car on the island without a licence and insurance. After the hearing, Walker said the Glovers had put their house on the market and left for Bournemouth. “My wife has been through hell, but it’s lovely on the island now. Everyone gets on and now this is over I feel alright. I thought I would get three months and I didn’t fancy the porridge.”