The Goggles... They Do Nothing

I realize some out there like a little junk in the trunk, but oh for the love of God, why would anyone want chelsea clinton? Just look at the picture to the right. Is there anyone in their right mind that would willingly slide their sausage into that bedsore? I thought this was a joke when I saw it on Drudge this morning, but no, it wasn't. Now I have to go through the remainder of my day with this skank hovering around the back of my mind. With chelsea in there, that automatically brings mother hellery into the picture. And someone needs to just shoot me if I have to go through the entire day with the spawn of Satan and her cackling, canckled she-thing mother floating like fecal matter in my head.

Apparently there is somebody willing to pay for chelz. It seems fitting that said person is an African. And, it simply makes the story when the guy wants to barter for her with goats and cows. Think about it, cows and clinton women... what a perfect match. I could go off again on how backward Africa is, and how it should be destroyed to make way for shipping lanes to connect the Indian and Atlantic oceans, but the story does that for me.

This kind of reminds me of the Blues Brothers where Jake and Elwood lean across a table and ask a man "How much for your daughters. We wish to buy them. How much for the little girls?" I'm sure billy boy has used those lines many times. While I'm surprised mr. clinton didn't just ask for a blow job in return for his daughter, I'm happy the offer of cows was declined. This means there is still some poor democratic bastard out there that will probably, after many stiff drinks, marry her. I wonder what kind of sick mind it takes to bed down with a creature like chelsea? I'd almost feel sorry for him... but not really.

http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,30000-13394619,00.html

40 GOATS TO BUY CHELSEA

Former US president Bill Clinton has been offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter by a love-struck African government official. Mr Clinton was offered the deal on a recent trip to Kenya. He was offered the animals as a traditional African way of getting a father to give away his daughter's hand in marriage.

The dowry is a very generous one by the country's own standards. Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor wrote to Mr Clinton through Kenya's Foreign Minister. He said: "Had I succeeded in wooing Chelsea, I would have had a grand wedding.

"I would have invited South African Anglican Archbishop Desmond Tutu to preside at the ceremony."

The councillor gave the names of the former Kenyan president Daniel Arap-Moi and two of his college mates as character references. Mr Chepkurgor also said he was also impressed by Mr Clinton's wife, Hillary, for standing by Mr Clinton during the Monica Lewinksy scandal. He said Mrs Clinton acted like a "like an African woman".