Friday, August 11, 2006

It's Just A Link To The Left... And Then A Link To The Right...

With your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane, Let's do the Link-Warp again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Variation on The Time Warp. Variation on rabbits doing Rocky Horror I'm so sorry...........-variation on an apology Now, on to business. 1. The last thing I’d want staring at me in the middle of the night. Check out the galleries. Mom? Why does Great-Grandma have fangs? Animated .gif sample here, if you're too lazy to plod through the site. 2. What is it with the British and toast? My only reference point being Wallace and Gromit, and the link above, leads me to wild generalizations, but it seems there is a fascination with toast in the UK. Here's a brief story behind the site: Toast in the Post was an idea developed in a University flat deep in the heart of Birmingham. With a piece of toast being left in the toaster by a flatmate AGAIN, it was decided that the best way to make sure the housemate recieved the toast he ordered from the toaster was to stick a stamp on it and post it back to the flat. There's only five or so people in the world that will get what I'm about to say. And that's good because it happened at college, and late at night. That thing is: "Blueberry muffins... Have one." Nobody else needs to know what it means or why it was said, but if you ask nicely I might tell you. I just said it so those five people will get this picture: I can see two college guys in their apartment (probably playing Super Mario) saying: Roomie #1: "Let's mail the toast to the other roomie... Roomie #2: If we do that.... It will be like... Toast in the Post... (a big smile slowly speading across his face) Roomie #1: Dude... That is so going to happen!" To those five mentioned above I say: Richard giveth, and Richard taketh away. Amen. 3. I can’t argue against the cuteness factor of the next site, but I’ll be damned if I’m paying $6 for this. The product works on the same idea you had as a child, that after your dog licked your plate, it was clean. Sticking with the cuteness... More puppies! I know.... After you check the link, you'll come back saying: "It's not that cute. It's bizarre Japanese fish-eyed photographs of puppies." To which I'll say "Yes, but it's over 100 bizarre Japanese fish-eyed photographs of puppies." Puppy love 4. I wonder if there's a nasty term for people who fly planes into buildings, or plan on blowing up several in mid-air like the animals that were just busted in England? (May they all die via the full length of a 5 foot razor wire being shoved up their ass and removed through their mouth.) Here's one term to describe the assholes as used in a story for ABC news. It's not derogatory in the context of the story. However, I do find it amusing. 5. I didn’t realize I had an 8.5 inch penis, but if they say so: Can you swing 'em to and fro? Seriously? Of course I'm bigger... What?... You think I'm not telling the truth? Music? Yes, music! Straight from my CD player this week driving to and from work. 1. Cotton Mather: The Big Picture If the Beatles had a love-child with David Bowie, this is what that union would produce. Rubber Soul and Ziggy Stardust... Not a bad combination. 2. Gigolo Aunts: Flippin' Out It's general guitar driven rock. Listenable, but not fancy. They've been around for 20 odd years so you'd think they'd have a hit, or failed by now. To their credit (or inability to grow up) they keep plugging away.


Blogger Richard said...

If your penis was normal size, you should have an 8 1/2" penis. I wear a size 11 shoe and my penis is almost 10 inches. In speaking with some of your previous gal pals, it seems you should be wearing a size 4 shoe. Sorry.

8/11/2006 10:34:00 AM  
Blogger Rooster Cashews said...

No, they just had very large vaginas... By the way, have you seen my cell phone?

8/11/2006 11:46:00 AM  

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