Thursday, September 21, 2006

Home, Sweet Home

I now work at home… Suckers. Somehow I talked the family into letting me work from the house. A new fax, phone lines, desk, and file cabinets make me feel professional... even if I'm not. So, because I feel some sympathy for the poor souls that must fight traffic every day while I walk the 30 feet from my bed to my office, windows open to enjoy the breeze, wearing shorts, and watching television if I feel like it, I offer you the following games and strangeness: 1. I never felt like this at my office, but I'm sure many of you do. A song for the cube dweller. 2. Annoy the other cube trolls around you. Give it a moment to load (Ad page comes up first). And please turn up the volume. Exploding heads will ensue. 3. Zombie office workers. You know... The ones who take the last doughnut, refuse to fill the coffee maker even if they walk by and notice it's empty or stale, talk about you behind your back, and yes, eat the brains of co-workers... Must Kill Them All! 4. You work too much and have carpel tunnel syndrome in your wrist. To make your misery fun, you should get a mouse odometer. Just how far has your mouse gone today? And more importantly, how much closer to death are you because the pain in your wrist and neck is becoming unbearable. Pimp-A-Mouse 5. Relax! Dammit!!! Breath in... Breath out. 6. Nothing wrong with this until after the second command when you realize you are telling a person dressed in a chicken suit what to do. Then the freak factor creeps in. I'm sure many of you feel your boss treats you this way 7. A game for you Information Technology monkeys: This is the help desk. What the hell do you want? 8. Motivation? Here... Motivate this! The end times are upon us when inspirational posters start showing up in offices. Make your own poster to show your bile and discontent. How 'bout I motivate my foot up your ass? Music: The power of Usenet compells you!!! Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Music found via the goodness of newsgroups. This week is Evanescence's new CD The Open Door which is due out October 6th. A few simple words are all I need to describe this CD: It's the same as their last CD Fallen. Ok, with that said, let me backtrack and say this offering is a little more mature than the last, and it still has their trademark grind and heavy on the one or two chord sound. On the plus side, from the two times I've listened, it appears they have included more piano riffs and interludes. Of course they've always had that, but it seems more pronounced now. That definitely takes the edge off the standard Linkin Park/Staind/Korn banging my fist against my guitar wannabes everyone sounds like these days. Amy Lee, the lead singer, also has a set of lungs that keep the songs moving from diverse ballads that make you think "I want to kill myself" and "Why don't you love me?" to "I want to kill you" and "Let's go kill something" thrash-ups. It also helps that Amy looks like she would eat you alive if you got too close. And that's a good thing. Bonus points always go to naughty Goth girls. 3 of 5 stars. Be sure to share it with your internet suicide pact group!


Blogger Richard said...

The chicken thing is hysterical. My question is this: Is there an actual person who gets paid to stand there in a chicken suit and do whatever you tell it to do?? Think he/she wonders what has become of his/her life?

9/24/2006 02:06:00 PM  
Blogger Uber said...

Yay! Congrats, I work from home too. I'd really like to have someone in a chicken suit to boss around though.

9/25/2006 11:57:00 AM  

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