No More Yanky My Linky. The Donger Need Food

Is this getting old yet? One for Dr. Phat Tony before the main links: Goat Trauma If anyone feels the need to save Phat Tony's little buddy from a soon to be delicious fajita platter, you can donate here. 1. For the lady on the go. The ad says this: Use the Travel Mate while seated in small, confined spaces such as during long flights in small aircraft, long car trips, or in a kayak. When you have to go, you have to go, but unless she's a girlfriend or wife, I can do without seeing this item whipped out on a plane ride. And since the ladies love to accessorize, you may also purchase the following items: A denim carrying case or a tapestry carrying case. You can also pick up some medical-grade thermoplastic tubing, an anti-bacterial cleaner, and a 500cc collection bag. 2. My favorite fake sports news: The Sports Rag (Believe it or not: a fetish site that is safe for work) 3. I don't begrudge anyone their sick fantasies. I only ask that they put up a web page dealing with it. That way we can see them, and in most cases, laugh at them. In this case, it's 'listen to' and not 'look at'. Their are some really odd people in this world, and this site proves it. I'm sorry... I just don't get it. The next one is safe too. Another odd site here. But why Roy Orbison and cling-wrap? (#4: kinda, sorta, not really, maybe safe for work) 4. It's different. You can't argue about that. Ok, it's sick and doesn't make a lot of sense. Really, it makes no sense... Bad Bad Babies. 5. You miserable kids get off my yard!!! Old Sad Things. What is sad is me remembering when some of them were Shiny New Things. 6. I need this. But at $50.00 an hour? No thanks. If I'm paying $50 an hour to a female, she better ask me if I'm a cop first. Anyone want to be my wingwoman? I'll pay you in beer. Screw it. Anyone want to forget about the pretentious chest puffing and simply go grab a cup of coffee? 7. Yes there is talent involved here, but someone needs to beat him with a bat. I wonder if he can make music in a full body cast? The picture on his site looks like a gay Nigel Tufnel of Spinal Tap. (Believe it or not, #8 is safe for work) 8. islamic Girls Gone Wild. It got a giggle from me. 9. Dog Judo. Nothing in life screams comedy gold more than dogs, judo, and British accents. For those who visit Fark: These dogs not only want steak, they will kick your ass to get it. 10. You ever notice how few rock stars die from choking on their own vomit anymore? Wimps! There are plenty of airplane crashes though... (#11. Seems like I'm actually doing a clean show today. This link is safe for work.) 11. Penisland. A resort for the ladies? Not exactly. 12. I'm sorry Timmy, you have mad cow disease and polio. Let me bring out these physiologically correct stuffed dolls to explain what your disease will do to you and how you will die a brutally painful death. 13. Husband: Honey! Why have you been in the bathroom for an hour, and what's that vibrating noise? Wife: Huh? Oh! That's just my razor, dear. 14. On my next birthday I want midgets. Lots and lots of midgets. There's something wrong about this, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what it is. You think any of them would protest if I asked them to do nothing else besides run around, pointing toward the sky, and yelling: "Da plane!!!!" 15. Speaking of... I would hire him in a heartbeat if he were still alive.