Art And Porn, With "Links" Like Johnsonville Brats, But No Annoying Wisconsin Nasal Accent

Ok, there’s no porn, just some artsy crap. I figure the above title would draw a few people looking for porn. It’s kind of like my post below on Amy McElhenney. For those too lazy to scroll down three clicks, here’s the link: I don’t feel tardy That post alone has driven 655 people (as I write this) to the site in 7 days, looking for info on the latest teacher boinking-maybe-not-boinking one of her students. My normal traffic is about 30 visitors per day. Really, I don’t care one way or the other. I do this for me, and no one else. But it is funny seeing people scramble to a site just to see if the teacher is attractive. C’mon… You know people don’t care about her background, accreditations, or any charity work she did over the course of her life. People only want to see how big her cans are and to see if she’s attractive enough (by their standards) to say “Yeah… I guess I’d do her.” I’m also going to guess that half the people searching for pictures of her haven’t been laid in the last three years. For what it’s worth, I’m going to say the whole thing didn’t happen the way the student said. If I had to guess, and that is all this is, I’ll simply say the student was text messaging the teacher after he found her number, and the teacher was too young to understand responding to him was not the smartest thing to do, especially since he was a student at her school. Things got a little more detailed with harmless flirting like the student telling the teacher she’s been a bad girl and needs a spanking while wearing whatever Catholic Schoolgirl outfit she can quickly fit into… Sorry… That’s my fantasy… So.. the teacher realized she was digging a hole she may not be able to get out of if she continued the text messaging. With no other option left, she smacked the kid down and called off any additional teacher student fantasies I could… I mean he could have. The kid's cute spank-monkey shut him down. What can he do? The idea that went through his head was “Why don’t I turn her in for sexual misconduct? That should screw her over pretty good for rejecting me.” It sounds like the kid is a normal guy who thought he’d get more than the raging case of blue balls she left him with. Stupid and horny is a dangerous combination. I’m a guy, so I should know. So now we get to wait for a trial, or settlement, or her posing for Playboy in a couple of years. Here’s also hoping I’m completely wrong with my take, and she really was base jumping in the vicinity of his crotch. Now, on with the art. 1. There’s a lot I hate about modern art. Some punk shows up in a gallery with a bucket of warm piss and some enamel paint, and they are hailed as the next Jackson Pollock with Mapplethorpe tendencies. I don’t blame the prima donnas for milking every last dime you could get from the sheep in the art world, I mean hell, if I could mold and bronze my feces, in the form of famous guerilla fighters of South America, and sell it, I’d eat plenty of bran muffins to stay regular, and cash every check I get. But have somebody sneak in under the radar with a message, whether you agree with it or not; that I like and appreciate. It really is the thought sometimes. Please visit Banksy 2. Rave on! I’ve never been to a rave, so that first comment is meaningless. But, I’m sure if I said “Go grab your pacifier, your surgeon mask lined with Vicks VapoRub, a couple of tabs of X, and some of these, you’d get a pretty clear picture. Check out the videos of the light graffiti, then go make your own graffiti lights here. 3. And finally, the highest calling in all of art… The drink maker. Personally, give me a Shiner or a margarita, and I’m happy. But for those poorer readers that rely on trashcan punch, Jell-O shots, or God forbid, Schaffer Light and Busch, this is the site for you. By the way, Jell-O shots are only cool if consumed from between a bar maid’s boobs. Wanna taste my pudding pop? What evil has been lurking in the car CD player this week? 1. I’m back to Gomez again: How We Operate 2. Weezer: The Green Album 3. Chicago: Greatest Hits 4. Robert Cray: Strong Persuader 5. Al Green: Call Me