That Was Not Leftover Fried Chicken You Ate At The Labor Day Picnic

Since a long weekend is coming up I thought some games would be a nice touch. Ah... Labor Day. I don't mind getting multiple days off, but I hate where this holiday originated. For all practical purposes the day came out of the organized labor movement. While I have no problem with what they represented then, I sure have a problem with them now. I guess that will be the topic of another post since I have neither the time, nor inclination to go off on a 20,000 word rant on how the labor movement has been destroying this country's competitiveness for over 50 years. God bless the men and women that work at some of the labor intensive jobs covered by unions, but y'all really need to get your act together. Unions... another reason I'm glad I live in a right to work state like Texas instead of some union stronghold hell. For those that are curious, here's a brief history of the holiday. Work sets you free (And if you don't get the meaning behind the words in the link, Google it.) So.... Links to games A. If there are computer games in hell, only those sinners who have really pissed off God will be forced to play this. Try it only if your blood pressure is low enough to withstand the angry vengeance that rises in you every time you touch the side wall and get sent back to the start. aMAZing B. Another maze. If this game were used as a drunk test, no one would pass. Honeshly occifer... I can do this. C. Direct the bugs into the correct area. A BUG’S LIFE. I feel itchy. D. Escape from the island of large breasted women... Who the hell would want to escape? "Death by Snu-snu!" Flash game. Give it a moment to load. E. Super Mario Hip Hop? I'm waiting for Tupac to jump up and put a cap in my white ass. Boyeeeeee. Luuuigiiii F. Speaking of Mario... This game would have been better if Mario had made an appearance. I always thought both Princess Toadstool and Zelda needed a spanking. G. How many moves does it take to push the ball into the hole. It's very addictive on a slow day. Trust me. I'm playing it right now. H. Another reason I hate birds: Thank God Big Bird doesn't fly A CD, See? This week, thanks to the power of Usenet, I came across the new Audioslave CD Revelations set for release next week. I'm not impressed. I've been listening to it for a few days and it's really not growing on me. Maybe I'm getting old, because I only hear one song that I think has radio appeal. The rest feel like leftovers they didn't want to use on the first two CDs. I'm a fan of Chris Cornell and have always appreciated his voice. The guy proved he knew what he was doing on his solo CD Euphoria Morning with original strong ballads, and other songs that sound like they were ripped from a more talented version of Soundgarden. And while the previous Audioslave efforts have been worthy, Revelations seems like Cornell is doing nothing more this time around than backing up Rage Against The Machine from 10 years ago because Zach DeLaRoca is out with the flu. Since I don't have the liner notes I don't know who is credited with each song, but it appears Cornell allowed the other band members to contribute more musically this time around. Of course I don't know if that's true, but the end result on this album sounds like it. It is a talented, yet muddy mess. 3 albums from these guys in four years... It might be time to take a break and refresh the pool that brought about a great first, and solid second CD. Maybe it will grow on me in time, but right now it sounds like this pool is almost dry.

The King Of Houston And Its Surrounding Principalities... AKA: Dumbass

I'm not trying to be a racist by saying this, but I miss the days when a cop could just beat the hell out of someone for no reason. Both these guys could use a good ass kicking. Here's President Joseph Charles and Senator Robert Horton speaking to the Houston city council. And just think about it... These people are actually walking the street and not locked away somewhere. video #1 video #2

Harold And Kumar Go To Lake Travis

Here are a few pictures from the 10th annual Guyfest. Guyfest is a guy's only event celebrating beer, lake activities, farting ability, beer, golf, guy movies, beer, margaritas, poker, steak, and beer. It's also a chance for the married guys to get away from their wives... if only for three days. Here's the kitchen. That white thing on the left is the largest refrigerator I have ever seen outside a restaurant or morgue. It holds a lot of beer... or bodies, if you prefer. The view from the back of the house toward Lake Travis, just outside Austin. Looking back toward the house. Outdoor deck with bar... The first night is casual... Here's a better look at the 22-foot copper-topped bar. It's the last time it would be empty the remainder of the week. By late Thursday night, everyone finally made it to the house... And there were some who weren't officially invited, but joined us as well. Sometimes, having a few girls at the guys only weekend is a good thing. But, there's a problem with that for some... Two or three of the married guys that have no scene control had their asses chewed up and handed back to them by their wives when they got home because the picture above (along with most of the ones you see here) was sent to their "family" email address.... Since I'm not married, I don't care. So, sounding as heartless as possible, and laughing at them because of it, let me say this: Marrying whatever screwed in the head, insecure shrew they did... I'm not sorry saying: Thank God that's their hell and not mine. Honestly, it's kind of sad when a wife or husband can't trust their spouse to be faithful, even if they are only away for a few days. That probably says a lot about their marriage... (I'm sure I'll catch hell for saying that) It was fun and games each night... but it was difficult to be excited when mornings rolled around. If I could invent anything, it would be a switch to dim the sun... Margaritas, beer, steaks, lobster and wine... It's all good. Out of $300+ in food, and several hundred dollars for items to drink, the only items we left behind on Sunday were a half bag of Oreos and a six pack of Milwaukee's Best... Who the hell drinks that? And more importantly, who the hell brought it? With the exception of the previously mentioned skunk-beer brand, we know how to eat and drink well.

Looking ahead: Winterfest, in January, for NFL playoff watching may be held at my family's beach house in Galveston. Or, there's always going back to the tradition of the Whitney lake house. Vote tabulation is still going on, so vote early, and vote often.

Music for this week.

1. Tom Petty: Highway Companion Typical Petty, but an easy listen on the drive home. 2. Prince and The Revolution: Parade Good funk to wake you up in the morning. Finally, a note for James on the running joke of this trip... I have no problem with you saying you would gladly hang out with Nick Lechey. As a matter of fact, I would too. He seems like an average guy that enjoys drinking beer and bullshitting with those around him. On the other hand, you owning any CD he sings on makes you gay. (Or maybe you are a 13 year-old girl)... It makes no difference that you are married; you are in denial. You might want to try listening to some Sugar Ray, Rob Thomas or Creed to wean yourself away from Nick. From there it's a quick jump to something a little less gay like Coldplay or Nickleback. Although all the bands I mentioned are also gay, listening to them is not as gay as a dude who owns a Lechey CD... Changing your listening habits involves small, easy steps at first... That's the key. Admit your gayness and treat it now before you snap and run off to Vermont with a 20 year old Laotian boy. Nuthin' better than busting someone's chops for their error in judgment admitting they listened to Lechey... And liked it. Links, and other juvenile nonsense will continue next week.

Kickin' It Commie Style. Fun Links For The Masses.

Two general reasons for spotlighting Communism in this post... 1. I'm headed to Austin Wednesday through Sunday for my twice a year guy's only weekend. The other guy's weekend is in January for NFL playoffs. Basically it's a bunch of guys (most of us have known each other the majority of our lives) getting together to drink, eat, play golf, drink some more, etc. Usually we head to a friend's lake house in Whitney, Texas. (Cue banjo music: More people in Whitney are named Cletus and have Confederate flags per square foot than any other place in Texas.... That may or may not be true, but it seems that way.) Whitney is a good place for 6 guys to play on the lake, or golf on a 18-hole goat ranch, but this year is the 10th anniversary of the summer weekend and it was time to kick it up a couple of quads per channel. The invitation list has also expanded to 10 people, so it only seemed fitting that we do it right. Here's a look at where we are staying. Cove Haven Besides the main house that sleeps 8 comfortably, it also has a enclosed floating dock house that sleeps 4 with a sliding panel in the floor that allows you to fish from the living room. My concern is having too much to drink, forgetting to close the panel, and falling through in the middle of the night. This should be interesting, and I may change my mind about staying in the dock house. Anyway, back to the point of all this... With the possible exception of San Francisco (Berkeley included), Seattle, and New York, all of New England... I doubt there are many places more liberal (ie: communist/socialist/nanny state) than Austin, Texas. It's a beautiful place... Pictures to prove it can be found here, here and here. (You will want to check out the first link although it may not be safe for work.) Austin is also home to the University of Texas, as well as the capital... ...but, because the hippie/socialist/communist/anarchist/and all around dumbass quotient is higher in Austin than any other Texas town, the following shirt should be required dress for me when I visit, as a counter to the usual Che shirt: Concerning real Che t-shirts... WTF is it with you moronic college punks? You think it's cool to wear a murdering communist icon? I understand celebs wearing this shit; they're unbelievably dumb, but those of you in college should be just a little smarter than they are. I can tell you, and I believe this with all my heart (not to mention the number of killings on record committed by him or for him), Che would have sliced you open from ass to mouth like a gutted trout because you, as a member of the ruling class, would have been his greatest threat. Think about that before you open your hole saying anything about Che being cool. End of mini-rant. So, we're heading into Hippieville, where the links I have below would be welcomed with open arms. That is reason number one for the anti-Communist diatribe. 2. The second reason I'm posting commie crap is because Castro isn't dead yet even though he should be. The SOB probably made a deal with the Devil. How else can you explain him lasting as long as he has? Here's hoping they drag his body through the Havana ghettos behind a goat cart when he dies. Fidel and Che had a dream... That dream was to build a worker's paradise for the good of all. The only problem with their plan is anyone that disagreed with the direction they wanted was, at best to be thrown in jail until they died, or at worst, tortured until Che got tired of listening to them scream, and he had them shot. Communist dictators are great people, aren't they? To honor that dream (nightmare) I offer the following: A. The greatest explanation of how Communism works I've ever seen. It's a flash game in cartoon form so even the dullest commie wannabe can understand. It takes time to load, but is by far better than anything I've ever seen in conveying the hopelessness of lives under communist rule. If you want to watch something that will make you feel so utterly cold and empty while giving you a life lesson you will never forget, this is it: Comrade, you must bring in the tomatoes for the good of the Proletariat! On the above game the goal is simple: Bring in the tomatoes from your collective veggie garden and press the tomatoes into soup/paste/whatever before the pigs eat everything you've worked for. And always remember this quote from Animal Farm while you play: ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS. I had to include the picture above. He'd make a good Napoleon from Animal Farm. If he ever did a remake, I assume his ending would have the animals living together in peace and harmony. Б. Depressing Gulags? I Can’t wait! FYI: The following flash video is called Pustota. Pustota means "Emptiness or Wasteland" in Russian. Pustota В. Negative Utopias? You bet! Remember comrade, all property belongs to the state Г. Original site for the two above is here. Д. Now a game to bring you out of your funk. Escape from the dungeon Russian Cyrillic alphabet in place of numbers used on purpose so the Communists feel included. Everyone have a good weekend. I know I will.

It's Just A Link To The Left... And Then A Link To The Right...

With your hands on your hips You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane, Let's do the Link-Warp again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Variation on The Time Warp. Variation on rabbits doing Rocky Horror I'm so sorry...........-variation on an apology Now, on to business. 1. The last thing I’d want staring at me in the middle of the night. Check out the galleries. Mom? Why does Great-Grandma have fangs? Animated .gif sample here, if you're too lazy to plod through the site. 2. What is it with the British and toast? My only reference point being Wallace and Gromit, and the link above, leads me to wild generalizations, but it seems there is a fascination with toast in the UK. Here's a brief story behind the site: Toast in the Post was an idea developed in a University flat deep in the heart of Birmingham. With a piece of toast being left in the toaster by a flatmate AGAIN, it was decided that the best way to make sure the housemate recieved the toast he ordered from the toaster was to stick a stamp on it and post it back to the flat. There's only five or so people in the world that will get what I'm about to say. And that's good because it happened at college, and late at night. That thing is: "Blueberry muffins... Have one." Nobody else needs to know what it means or why it was said, but if you ask nicely I might tell you. I just said it so those five people will get this picture: I can see two college guys in their apartment (probably playing Super Mario) saying: Roomie #1: "Let's mail the toast to the other roomie... Roomie #2: If we do that.... It will be like... Toast in the Post... (a big smile slowly speading across his face) Roomie #1: Dude... That is so going to happen!" To those five mentioned above I say: Richard giveth, and Richard taketh away. Amen. 3. I can’t argue against the cuteness factor of the next site, but I’ll be damned if I’m paying $6 for this. The product works on the same idea you had as a child, that after your dog licked your plate, it was clean. Sticking with the cuteness... More puppies! I know.... After you check the link, you'll come back saying: "It's not that cute. It's bizarre Japanese fish-eyed photographs of puppies." To which I'll say "Yes, but it's over 100 bizarre Japanese fish-eyed photographs of puppies." Puppy love 4. I wonder if there's a nasty term for people who fly planes into buildings, or plan on blowing up several in mid-air like the animals that were just busted in England? (May they all die via the full length of a 5 foot razor wire being shoved up their ass and removed through their mouth.) Here's one term to describe the assholes as used in a story for ABC news. It's not derogatory in the context of the story. However, I do find it amusing. 5. I didn’t realize I had an 8.5 inch penis, but if they say so: Can you swing 'em to and fro? Seriously? Of course I'm bigger... What?... You think I'm not telling the truth? Music? Yes, music! Straight from my CD player this week driving to and from work. 1. Cotton Mather: The Big Picture If the Beatles had a love-child with David Bowie, this is what that union would produce. Rubber Soul and Ziggy Stardust... Not a bad combination. 2. Gigolo Aunts: Flippin' Out It's general guitar driven rock. Listenable, but not fancy. They've been around for 20 odd years so you'd think they'd have a hit, or failed by now. To their credit (or inability to grow up) they keep plugging away.

Separated At Birth? Or The Same Person?

Marilyn Manson And... Christina Aguilera Discuss amongst yourselves. Odd links to follow later today or tomorrow...

No Catchy Title Yet

I am honestly impressed with the video above. The song ain't too bad either.

The band (OK Go) also has a contest running to make your own video. Some are good. Some are bad. Some are really bad.

Contest videos are here

Ok Go website

Now... Links for your childish enjoyment. 1. Seems I’m not alone at being alone... Send a message in a bottle, or add to a message in a bottle you find. Walked out this morning. Don’t believe what I saw. A hundred million bottles washed up on the shore. -The Police: Message in a Bottle The above website is a genius idea, but the frequency of bottles that wash up on your shore depends on how many others are playing at the time. So you may get a bottle every minute, or nothing for 30 minutes. And some bottles come in damaged, so they are worthless. It also helps to have Babelfish up and running just in case you get a bottle from Russia, S. America, etc... and whatever they've written is a jumbled mess.

It's worth checking out if only for 15 minutes. All I need now is a volleyball named Wilson to place on my desk and I'm set. 2. Annoy the nerd... More specifically: Annoy the Dragon Quest nerd. You decide the best way to annoy this live action character. See how much you can piss him off. (Takes a while to load, but I found it worthy.) I'd beat him with a +5 staff of stupidity if I could find one.

3. This has to be against the law in most states, and a little creepy if you want to know the truth. And just because I'm posting it doesn't mean I’m saying you should do it... (Does that cover me for being liable?)

I know who you are. Star 69... Not this time.

Now I got that damn REM song in my head. 4. A very unfortunate name. Good thing it’s a woman: At least I think it's a woman... Careful!! She may be hiding a "package" down there...

5. Silly walk generator. (Python fans know)

Well sir, I have a silly walk and I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop it.

6. Like the "Crab People" point and click game I posted a while back, only rendered better this time. It looks a little like Davey and Goliath if they had been made on the computer instead of the odd synthetic play-doh-esque substance. "Where's the money? Don't make me keep bitch slappin' you!"

Oh Davey!!!

7. Sweet Lord baby Jesus... Using such web video luminaries as Leslie The Gem Sweater Girl, The Tron Guy, and The Peter Pan Guy, this site tries to tell me about the issue of web neutrality... The only point I get after watching the video is how much more gay you can become by listening to Madonna music, and living in your parent's basement past the age of 20.

These people frighten me.

So gay it's Brokeback Internet Gay.

Two very good CDs this week. Ok, actually one great CD, and one that helped me remember my youth: 1. Rubyhorse: Goodbye To All That

Think U2, with The Alarm and Oasis thrown in.

2. The Valley Girl Movie Sountrack