Friday, April 28, 2006

And My Links Does It Good...

(With respect to Paul McCartney for stealing his song "My Love" for the title) 1. Pretty smart idea: Cosby Cartoons. No, not Fat Albert. Watch the entire series and see for yourself. Let's play hide the pudding pop 2. All magicians are evil... Except Penn and Teller. Name me another one that isn't. Why do magicians always have psycho eyes? You ever notice that? I'm talking about "I'm going to cut you open and eat your heart while you watch" freaky eyes. Seriously, am I the only one who thinks that? 3. Come on... you know you'd be laughing at his voice too. Someone needs testicle replacement surgery 4. May not be safe for work if your company has a problem with body positions of fully clothed people. Meet the Kama Sutra clothing company. High marks for the name alone, although I'd guess the clothes are crap. Ganesh must be proud In The CD Player This Week? A. Still listening to Gomez: How We Operate for two weeks straight. (I'm now at the point where there isn't one song I don't like.) Damn these guys are good. B. Soundgarden: Superunknown C. P.I.L.: Happy D. Eurythmics: Greatest Hits E. Linkin Park: Live In Texas

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

From My Neck Of The Woods

Nothing funny today. Just a story showing how a little kindness can mean the world to someone else. Something like this is why I say a little prayer each night thanking God I was born in Texas. GRAND PRAIRIE – Sgt. Chris Hockman didn't hear the 18 first-graders chanting his name minutes before he arrived in their room at Moore Elementary School on Monday. But he has been feeling their love for five months. The students have been writing to Iraq since November, when their teacher, Claudia Flores, "adopted" Sgt. Hockman through the nonprofit group Operation AC. He has become so close to the students, he decided to spend part of his two-week leave meeting them. "I didn't know when I would get back again, and in a few weeks the kids will be out for the summer, so I decided to come now," said Sgt. Hockman, 27, who is with the Pennsylvania-based Army National Guard 109th Infantry Division. Getting him to Texas was a community effort. The school's Parent Teacher Association provided $1,000 to help with the hotel and other expenses, and Southwest Airlines donated the flight. The students, whom Sgt. Hockman dubbed "Little Gypsies" because his platoon is called the Gypsies, recited a poem for him about the American flag. When they sang a verse of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," Mrs. Hockman dabbed away tears. "He sends me their stuff, so I've seen all their pictures and the stories they wrote about him," she said. "It means a lot to him to know there are people all the way down in Texas who care about him." Full story here Photo: MICHAEL AINSWORTH / DMN Army Sgt. Christopher Hockman and his daughter Madigan, 4, are cheered as they enter the first-grade wing at Moore Elementary in Grand Prairie on Monday.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

CD or not CD?

Are any of the following "Best of" CDs really neccessary? 1. The Very Best Of Buck Owens, Vol.2. Yee Haw, Hee Haw My name is Buck... (If you've seen Kill Bill Vol. 1, you know the rest.) 2. The Best of Fuel. Someone's desparate for money. When you only have 3 CDs to your name, do you really need a Best of? Are they even around anymore? 3. The Best of Both Worlds, Van Halen. VH is the perfect example of Spinal Tap A two CD set? Please. Listen up, there is no reason to get this CD. What you need is: Van Halen, Van Halen 2, Fair Warning, Women and Children First, Diver Down, and bits and pieces from 1984. If nothing else, pull three or four of your favorite songs from each album above and burn your own double disk. One more thing... What the hell happened to Eddie Van Halen? Hey Ed! Iron Maiden just called. They need you for a cover shoot on their next album. Time (alcohol, cancer, smoking, take your pick) has not been kind to Eddie. Eddie vs. Eddie... Who would win? 4. Best of Communism: Revolutionary Songs. WTF? I will crush you. Rousing hits include Onward Red Guards, Proletarians. We Thank You, Comrade Rakosi. Forward Together With The Party And The People. And Onward Youth, For Socialism. Please be sure to rat out your friends and parents to the Secret Police for the greater good of the mother land. 5. Baby Come Back: The Best of Player. You know there's something wrong with a best of cd when the title is the same as your one hit. Although, I loved that song when I was growing up. Baby, stay away from this one 6. All The Best From Mexico: 40 Mexican Favorites. Buy now and get a free yard worker with your order. While supplies last. This is what hell will be like. Oompa music from accordions

Friday, April 21, 2006

CD? No, I Don't. Where's Dee? No.... What's In The CD?

In the CD player this week: 1. Gomez: How We Operate 2. Pretty Girls Make Graves: Elan Vital 3. The Fray: How To Save A Life 4. Jefferson Airplane: Bless Its Pointed Little Head 5. Seals & Crofts: Summer Breeze 6. Blue October: Foiled 7. E.L.O.: Out Of The Blue 8. Queen: Jazz

9. James Taylor: Live At The Beacon Theatre (DVD rip)

10. The Rolling Stones: 12x5

It is the weekend. Ha-Ha!!! How 'bout a little Double? Double's, Blue CD arrived from S. Korea yesterday via eBay. Glad to finally have the whole CD, but happier I didn't pony up $40 for the one they had for sale at Amazon through a used CD dealer. Can you say "Someone's shoving a pike up my ass, and asking me to enjoy it?" So, screw you Amazon, and thank you eBay. Now, if I can just find anything from The Judys, and The Other Ones, I'll be set.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Believe Me When I Say That I've Got Some-(links) For His Punk Ass

With apologies to Sublime for the subject line. "Spring. A time of rebirth... A time of births. A time of tabloids (Tom Cruise jokes about eating his wife's girlfriend's alien pod carrier's placenta)... Cruise's Placenta Fixins Britney, Katie, Gweneth... knocked up and freaky like sea cows at the National Aquarium. The joys of motherhood... and burping? Next on Geraldo At Large." 1. For those who have not seen it: The Britney Spears sculpture of her giving birth on all fours, tastefully on a bear skin rug. (Sorta safe for work. It is a sculpture after all) Feel free to sing along... Oops. I'm on a bear skin... Birthing is not art. Get lost, I'm in pain... Oh baby, baby... Make up the rest of the song on your own for the link above. My head hurts from simply looking up the lyrics to find something that rhymes. 2. Whoa! A rear view of the sculpture. This probably isn't safe for work. I'm sure birth is a beautiful experience, but I don't need this. ...Baby one more time? No!!! Never again. Someone stop her before she creates a race of super white-trash that take over the world, forcing us to listen to mindless music all the time! 3. The perfect gift for Brit, Kat, and Gwen, and their respective brood. And, am I the only one who thinks Katie is on some strange mind control drug, and is in reality birthing the anti-Christ? Anyway, get the new mom a "playpen" where she knows her child will be safe from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. It's a death cage match between Apple Paltrow and Sean Preston "Cletus" Spears 4. Warning in advance: #4 is not safe for work. This link has nothing to do with spring except the weather is warmer, (101 today) and people can wear less. So, why not celebrate the art of.... topless burping? At least they're not eating their placenta. I like a girl who can throw down with the guys, but this makes no sense to me at all. Brrraaaaaappppp

Sunday, April 16, 2006

We're From The Government And We're Here To Help

If you ever hear the subject line spoken in your vacinity... Run. Don't get me wrong. I love this country, but hate taxes. So in an effort to make your tax day a little better I offer you some random income tax musings. 1. Jokes always seem to go over well with the I.R.S. Tell them this one and see if they laugh. A young hotshot gets a job with the IRS. His first assignment is to audit old rabbi. He thinks he'll have a little fun with the old rabbi, so he says, "Rabbi, what do you do with the drippings from the candles?" The rabbi says, "We send them to the candle factory, and every once in awhile they send us a free candle." The kid says, "And what do you do with the crumbs from your table?" The rabbi says, "We send them to the matzo ball factory, and every once in a while they send us a free box of matzo balls." The kid says, "And what do you do with the foreskins from your circumcisions?" The rabbi says, "We send them to the IRS, and every once in a while they send us a little prick like you." 2. You could take your money and run to a Caribbean island and set up shop as a pirate. The site is really for kids, but I actually learned a few things. Drag your cursor over the skull and crossbones for the answer. Aarrrrrggg!!!! 3. You can take your refund and set up a meth lab. Fun. Excitement. Good profit potential. And the possibility of a large explosion from Cletus mixing the wrong chemicals. The downside is you have to move to a mobile home set on 3 acres in the middle of nowhere. Say Cheese... That is, if you have any teeth left. 4 Just who runs this country anyway? A. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. B. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. C. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles. D. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. E. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it. F. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. G. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. H. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. I. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores. J. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but, if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are Handicapped, minority, feminist, dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are not Republicans. K. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store or those that live in trailers. (Must be meth lab owners) 5. Waiting for Tax Freedom Day. That pirate gig is starting to look pretty good. Freedom!!!!

Friday, April 14, 2006

Handfarts And Catapults And Peeps. Oh My!

It is Good Friday. And for those of us who run our own business, at least our own side of the business, that means we do not take a break. However, it is important to remember why this day (and weekend) is celebrated. So, remember the why first, before biting into the chocolate.

"Must kill Sarah Connor" Rabbits are evil little bastards. 1. Happy Easter. The use of puns on this site is enough to make you sick. Kind of like how you feel after eating a Peep for Easter. Peeps are made of people!!!!! Here's a few items to work on over the long weekend so you'll be ready for "Cube World" on Monday. 2. Things to freak out the cube monkey that works with you. Cut ‘em, paste ‘em, leave ‘em on your desk. I have my own office, so I don't have to worry about dealing with the proletariat. But I do keep a "Papercut of Death" on my desk. Bow down before the Inner Party and his creepy posterboard cutouts, prole! 3. Also good for inter-office problems: desk-sized catapult.... Or, a trebuchet, for you word nazis. Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time 4. How about one for your watch? Run away!!!!! What? Is this some kind of poor man's attempt at a James Bond gadget? Anyway, the above item is perfect for those boring meetings you must sit through that are gut-wrenching, sleep-inducing, liturgies of corporate crap, conducted by mid-level management, desparately striving and hoping to make retirement age before they are "released from their duties as a restructuring effort," without a clue how the real world works. I really wouldn't know, since I work for myself. But I do have quite a few friends who are beaten down to the point of taking their own lives that have said falling asleep in your chair does happen at meetings they are required to attend. The all day meetings are the worst. So they say. The desire to hang yourself by the neck from the light fixtures almost becomes too great during the droning sales pitch on how they should feel proud of their company and its desire to see a tighter bottom line. I almost feel sorry for them. Then I laugh. 5. Hand-farts. Yep... Hand–farts. Download and play the vids on your computer at work. I'm sure the desk jockey next to you would appreciate this while he's on the phone with an important client. Crank that volume! Pull my finger? No! Squeeze my hand

Thursday, April 13, 2006

It's Only Rock And Roll, But I Link It, Link It, Yes I Do.

The evils of music... 1. How about we start off with mysterious mind control? Number Nine. Number Nine... 2. Banned album covers: There is a lot of good stuff here. Example: On the Stones' Sticky Fingers album (yes, album, not CD) there is a real working zipper and a photo of Mick's skivvies done by Andy Warhol behind said zipper. That's something I really don't need, or want to see, but it sure makes the album better than the CD. CD art sucks compared to full size albums. Another album on the list is the Lynyrd Skynyrd "Band in flames" cover taken just before their plane went down. The album was quickly pulled from shelves since it looked like the band was walking out of burning wreckage. Only a few covers survived being destroyed.

(Some may not be safe for work. All pictures are small icons) Rock, and/or roll A few other links from the above site include: Worst album covers ever (And 2 that are NOT safe for work) Naked Chicks on Covers And more naked chicks on covers I posted the naked chick covers for a reason... besides the fact I'm a guy, and like how naked chicks look. Q&A time people. A. Could you tell me the name of two bands that you've heard of out of the 100 plus covers from those two nude cover links? Other than The Peppers, or Jane's Addiction. B. Now, go back to those pages and find a band. Then, go to Amazon and search for them. After you find one that still has a CD in print, download some samples of their music. How do they sound? C. Do ya think there might be a reason they have to put naked women on the cover? Something tells me it's very unlikely you would purchase an album by the "Dwarves" if it didn't have eyecandy to take your mind off the fingernails on blackboard sound coming out of your stereo speakers.

The Dwarves... What a great name, though... D. Sorry... End of lesson. 3. What's in the car CD player? 30 minute drive to work... 30 minute drive from work. Must-have-music-to-stop-me-from-purposely-plowing-into-idots-driving-and-talking-on-their-cell-phones. In no particular order... A. The Cult: Electric B. Carolyn Leonhart: Steal the Moon C. Death Cab For Cutie: Transatlanticism D. Eagles Of Death Metal: Peace, Love, Death, Metal E. The Fixx: Greatest Hits F: Jimi Hendrix: Complete Live At Woodstock G: REO Speedwagon: The Hits H: The Clash: Sandanista! I: The Plimsouls: Everywhere At Once J: The Vines: Vision Valley K: Sting: Covering Them


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Touched... "Linked" Telepathically. Joined At The MIND!!!!

1. Why don't they finish the job by holding their head in a bucket of dry ice? These people are sick. At some point as children, did someone turn off the water hose on the Slip and Slide while they were on it? Cut me off at the knees and call me a tripod 2. I posted earlier links about products such as "Liquid Ass" and the "fart pillow." But, how about something you could use to stop gaseous dog emissions? Check out the doggy thong. Two problems come from this: A. There will be some asshat who buys it. B. You can't blame the dog anymore. The best way to degrade your dog is here 3. I'd like for this to happen to me... preferably by someone who doesn't look like her head was sculpted with a 2X4... Or whacked out on meds. Maybe I'm being too picky... Nah. Why are all the naked women running around neighborhoods so odd? I mean sure, you have to be nuts, or on serious drugs to do this, but the only semi-attractive nude nuts I can think of right now would be Margot Kidder and Anne Heche. They aren't bad, well Anne's alright, and I really don't want to think about Margot, but they're not Elle Macpherson to put it bluntly. My question is why can't we get a rash of supermodels showing up at your door starkers? I mean in real life, and not just those daydreams at work. Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely. I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue. (Strong language on #4) 4. You have Ghostface Killa. You have Ice T, and NWA. Now you have Gangstafag. That's Gangsta rap with Gangsta man love. Damn it feels good to be a GAY-ngsta? (I thought up that play on words myself... Laud me for my brilliance) 5. Useless time killer. How popular is your name? If it's Seymore, don't bother. Your name is not in the top 1000

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Shareef Don't Like It. Link The Casbah... Link The Casbah

1. A mother's love is to be admired and cherished above all other relationships. A mother's stupidity when trying to do a good thing for her children is to be forgiven. Doing both at the same time should be shown to the world. Tattoo You 2. "Pop" astrology? I was hoping for a Beatles song, but ended up with The Strawberry Alarm Clock's Incense And Peppermints. At least it wasn't a Helen Reddy song 3. He's so GAY, he's so GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In the annals of gayness, there is nothing more gay. Take the 80's group Trio with their Da Da Da song, add a touch of Mike Myers as Dieter from Sprockets, and you have this. Just play the video and you'll see what I mean. "Now is ze time on Sprockets vhen ve dance." He could burn you with his knee 4. Spock's Beard? No. Just creepy old men. Is that Dom DeLuise on the front page? Live long and prosper, Herr Schneider 5. I need my foil hat now please. This person has: A. Too much free time. B. A need for serious counseling. C. Several dozen restraining orders in place. D. All of the above. May the farce be with you

Sunday, April 09, 2006

'Tis The Season To Be Jorry, Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra

I'm sorry if I find this funny. It's not meant to be racist, but sometimes something jumps up and bites you on the ass and you find yourself rolling on the floor. So I'm juvenile... Sue me. After speaking with a friend, (Hey "S") I found myself thinking about old songs and what they meant to me when I was growing up. So, I jotted down a few that I would like to find again. The problem with this is pretty obvious... Unless you're talking about a band that is still together, (or the Beatles) you’ll probably be S.O.L trying to find music still in print from older bands, or true one hit wonders of the 80’s at Amazon, that aren't priced at some ridiculous amount. More on that in a minute. Most of the bands I'm looking for released albums (yes, I said albums) at the beginning of the CD revolution. Put another way, they didn't last long enough to merit more than one CD pressing, if they were lucky, and no CDs if they weren't lucky. If they did manage to get a pressing, it wouldn't be more than 30,000 units. By the way, 100,000 sold is considered a gold record, and that is a difficult feat for most bands to reach. I'm sure you can also see the cost involved would be huge if you went all out promoting a band with only one song to its credit. The investment alone on printing anywhere from 20-50K CDs would be cost prohibative. So, most of the bands I'm looking for are going to be near impossible to track down. As far as one hit wonders go, I’m not talking about UB40, or A-Ha. You can find those groups on any number of “Best of the 80’s” compilations. I’m talking about groups like Double, The Judys, or The Other Ones (No, I’m not talking about the Grateful Dead spin off group). These three bands are true one hit wonders. Well, The Judys were not one hit wonders... They never had a hit, but they were a great band to see live at the Arcadia on Greenville Avenue. Anyway, my first stop in the search was Amazon. I didn’t see anything at all by The Other Ones, so I tried to find Double’s CD, Blue. Nothing was found there that was new, but they did have a seller’s section where I could buy Double's disk….. for $57.00. My WTF meter jumped into the red after seeing the price. I’m a free market guy, and I appreciate selling according to what the market will bear, but my market will not bear spending $57 plus shipping for one CD. So, being the free market guy I am, I also knew there were other avenues to pursue what I was looking for. Behold eBay, the online buyers wet dream. Stopping in at eBay I couldn’t find The Other Ones, or The Judys in CD form. They did have the Judys "Moo" record at the "buy it now price" of $147.77. No thanks. I used to own it.... I wonder where it's at now? Anyway, I did find Double, brand new, and straight from the factory... The Asian factory of Universal Music, that is. The CD was located in South Korea. Ahhhh, the wonders of the Internet. Bringing capitalism to all. And, it was listed at $17.99, a much better price considering the alternative, so I grabbed it. To get back on point here… What cracked me up was the seller’s description. I am very aware that English.. or maybe I should say Engrish, is probably not the seller’s native tongue. And I’m 100% sure he speaks better Korean than I do. But sometimes little bits of the giggles catch you when you don’t expect them to. From the seller’s page: RELEASED IN UNIVERSAL MUSIC KOREA. THIS CD IS NOT A BOOTREG CD. Bootreg!!!! You have to love it. And yes, I know this was a long story to get to a punch line. The link to the eBay seller's page is here: So Ronrey And Sadry Arone. A good sample of Captain of her Heart is here: Captain, My Captain From a review at Cdbaby.com: In the fall of 1985, Switzerland's Double started invading the world with their beautifully crafted, catchy single The Captain of Her Heart from their first album Blue. Like The Captain of Her Heart, the rest of the album is marked by Double's remarkably restrained, subtle instrumental and vocal attitude - all part of the album's distinctive approach. The sound of Double certainly has caught on. Blue has been released in more than 50 countries and The Captain of her Heart became a modern-day classic. It's a simple song, but the piano and horn make it. [Written by Felix Haug and Kurt Maloo] It was way past midnight And she still couldn't fall asleep This night the dream was leaving She tried so hard to keep And with the new days dawning She felt it driftin' away Not only for a cruise Not only for a day Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart As the day came up, she made a stop She stopped waiting another day for The captain of her heart Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart ---- Instrumental Interlude ---- Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart ---- Instrumental Interlude ---- Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart As the day came up, she made a stop She stopped waiting another day for The captain of her heart Too long ago, too long apart She couldn't wait another day for The captain of her heart

Friday, April 07, 2006

Artsy Fartsy

Just a head's up... Some of the links may contain nudity. This is a post about art after all. In checking the sites again, most nudes will be obvious before you click a link on that page to go to another section. 1. Odd Photographs 2. A great idea. What would happen if you took the fears of your youth and turned them over to an artist to render? Childhood Nightmares 3. Leggo Artistry 4. Photographs are art. I have 20 new wallpapers thanks to this site. Beautiful in color and scope. China's Countryside 5. Pop art can occasionally be fun. Little People Unite 6. How many of you have been to NY city and never saw the art on the walls of the subway tunnels? No. Not the graffiti. Take The "A"rt Train 7. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to drift more toward those who have a creative side that doesn’t simply involve throwing paint on a canvas and calling it art. (The exception being Jackson Pollock. I like the idea of using everyday objects in new ways. Stick A Fork In It 8. A look back at where we are from. Beautifully colorized B&W photos from 1941-45. Grandpa Never Looked So Good 9. Sometimes art should make you feel alone. Abandonment Can Be Art 10. Unexpected photographs. This Is My Favorite with around 600 photos. 11. Sketch art is not appreciated the way I think it should be. No Courtroom Sketches Here 12. My new favorite photographer. He came to my attention because of his work on the limited edition of Stephen King’s ‘Salem’s Lot. It is a beautiful book weighing in at just over 9 pounds with Uelsmann’s surreal photos tipped in, and also embedded in the cover. Boo! Here's a photo of the book.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

We're Linkin'... Linkin'... And I Hope You Like Linkin' Too

1. An idea for Dr. Phat Tony. Hollow out Jill and use her for a tourist attraction. After being eaten of course. Goat fixins 2. Do I make you horny baby? Yeah!

Is that a horn in your pants or are you just happy to lift bricks for me? Side note: Don't they have dentists in China? 3. You will feel old after this I guarantee it. 4. Have a talk with God.

Are you there God? It's me, Rooster Cashews

5. Island of forgotten toys? No. This is the site of forgotten technology. What? Like there's something wrong with an 8-track?

Time to break out the 78s for the gramophone.


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Links Lift Us Up Where We Belong

1. This is so dark: Wow! It's like an internet dance death party. I will not make fun of death. To me, that’s God’s ultimate smack down or reward. However, I do question the taste in doing this site. Then again, look at some of the freakiness I post... Click on the pictures for the full My Space profile. And be sure to check out Death #64: Do ya think it could have possibly been gang related? 2. More games for Peakah. Just try to get some work done now! I'm game if you are. 3. The most unfortunate of all unfortunate names are held here. I'll be the first to admit there's no way to verify any of those, so I call foul. But, potty humor always wins out over tracking down the facts. 4. “I gotta have more cowbell.” Electric cowbell? Blue Öyster Cult would be ashamed 5. Buy a corpse. This is so cool on one level, and so wrong on another. Mother!!!! (The word "mother" is a Psycho reference for anyone wondering. Just go rent the original movie if you don't get it)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I Wanna Link You Like An Animal

1. No, the first one isn't funny. I love this, even if it was written by nut jobs. I question some of the claims on child warriors, or AIDS victims, but that's a story for another day. On the other hand, what they write about the actual value of a diamond (or any precious gem for that matter) is true. If you don't believe them, take it from someone like me who dated the daughter of one of the most talented diamond setters around. And that link just shows the cheap stuff. You should see the private showroom. On the other hand, any girl that eventually marries me will probably wind up with this. We're whipped I tell ya. Whipped! 2. The ref is a little light in the cleats. No yellow or red card here. I'd say he has a fucshia card. 3. This is an old story, but I still find a drunk Bullwinkle funny. Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a bottle of Stoli out of my hat. 4. Work time killers. I got game. 5. Who is this? Ms. Swan? Craigslist can be a wealth of material sometimes. 6. Old news, but a great idea. Kindergarten for men. We get a nametag, food, and sporting events to watch on television. How great is that? Play nice while mommy shops. 7. Dance little pipe cleaner. Dance!

Monday, April 03, 2006

The Goggles Do Nothing On Live Television

(Probably not safe for work. Bare ass streaker) So there I was watching the news last night when this happens. The funniest part is knowing a few things about the broadcast. Texas has had some dry weather lately, and occasionally a brush fire will kick up. This fire had been contained, but it was still local news, so why not report it? Another way to say it is: This was not a "Let's jump out here and do a story because fire is about to engulf a neighborhood." This was a set up that took a little time to plan. Lighting, scene, etc. So here comes some redneck driving around the back roads and sees the channel 8 guys putting up shop. It's my guess he called a couple of friends and says: "How much would you pay me to go starkers when the reporter is on air?" All you have to do is tell me when they are about to go live." I'm sure his friends pony up a carton of smokes and a case of beer just for the event. He agrees, and the rest is history. The beautiful part is the total calm of the reporter. Bonus points should also go to the streaker for bringing an air horn.

Lovin', Touchin', Linkin'

I demand praise for the first link for trying to match up Aerosmith songs with Star Wars references. Also, do yourself a favor and check out the photos. There really are people out there doing this. Think about that for a minute.... Momma must be proud. 1. New from Rhino Records, Aerosith. Featuring the hits: “Love In A Death Star (with) Vader." "Livin’ it up when I’m goin’ down.” And.... “Jaba’s Got A Gun.” "Han Solo Is On The Run." Aerosith??? Oh yeah? Let's hear you do better. 2. PETA can bite me. Here... Have some meat. Check out the news section. I honestly have no idea what's going on. Power to the cow (#3 is Not safe. Ok?) 3. First, WTF are these people thinking? Secondly, what are the people actually using this service thinking? Taking a vacation? I may rent a car. I usually keep my pants on when driving. Digging a few dozen post holes? I may rent a post hole digger. I usually keep my pants on when digging post holes. Living out some freaky fantasy with your girlfriend? Fine. My pants will come off for that. But you don't rent this kind of thing, alright?. ...And they patented the site name... Seriously, WTF? 4. Conspiracy Needs… Get your conspiracy needs here!!! From aliens, to secret new world orders, it's all here. I especially love the 9/11 wacky lib “Bush did it” tripe. This site is like Art Bell on acid. Charlie Sheen says he thinks the towers were blown up. And if Charlie says it.. well, you know it must be true. 5. Pimp my name? G. Digital K. Dazzle. Sounds like Snoop made that one up. 6. Mail order chickens? I think these guys should hook up with the folks from #3 above. Help give a chicken a good home. Preferably on a bed of wild rice.
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