Crush Your Enemies, See Them Driven Before You, And Hear The Lamentations Of Their Links

1. From the makers of the most disturbing flash video ever (here it is from a week ago,) comes something not quite as disturbing, but disturbing enough to make you question the sanity of the guy who made it. Remember, always question authority and sanity. Video is here.

2. Funny. Who says we can't poke fun at ourselves. I wouldn't go with Bush though... I'd say Cheney or Rove is the one looking for Sarah Connor.

3. This headline makes me laugh.

(#4: Keep the volume down. Some language) 4. Dumbass! They should hire that guy for the Vonage commercials.

(#5 isNot Safe For Work) Bad words, not acts. Download it anyway. You know you want to...)

5. I don't know why, but this cracks me up. It's like that old Quiznos ad but with a 1/4 more insanity.

6. Robert Plant, Debbie Boone, and AC/DC together? Let them sing your words here. (Not safe for work. Words again) 7. Somebody will be looking for a new job soon. Don't you love live television?

Every Time You Go Away, You Take A Piece Of Link With You

Where is Paul Young these days anyway?

(EDITED 02/28/2006)

At the urging of PJ Max I am adding warnings ahead of the post if it is not safe for work. Probably a good idea. Especially if you click on #4.

1. In the name of all that is holy, someone grab the stomach stapler!! 2. Another unfortunate name. And this guy is spitting distance from me. I should call some day just so I could ask for Doctor Assman. And no, this isn't the guy from the Seinfeld episode. (#3 NOT SAFE)

3. Labia enhancement. Why? From the site: *Feeling inadequate in bed, and afraid to show your genitalia? *Feeling rejected by your partner due to an unattractive vagina? *Worry that others will make fun of your genitals if they see them? If the guy you're with is a normal guy, I doubt he'll be poking fun at your naughty bits. General poking, yes. Poking fun of, no. By the way, the site is really Not Safe For Work.

(#4 NOT SAFE)

4. At 2:45 into this video, a Phish concert breaks out. It's about 12 minutes too long, and even though it's a cartoon, it's Not Safe For Work. Chalk this one up to the guy taking too many poppers with the 'shrooms. Yeah, I remember college... And I'm damn glad it's over. I don't think I could have survived any more. 5. Shut up Beavis. Hehehehehehehe..... I'm keeping my mouth shut, but I do appreciate the subtle potty-brain humor. Look here. 6. King of the world? Or rich girl posing naked? You choose. I guess you could also add ice water to slide into, and throw some deck chairs behind each kid to give them the full effect of dying a horrible death. Anyway, this item makes the Moon Bounce ride look like a beaten step-child. 7. "So, he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch . . . up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery, he give me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you." - Pulp Fiction Where do you keep your jewels? Floor safes, Coke can safes, Underwear safes? And, as a special deterent, cover the skivies in Doo Drops. That last product would work well with the next item... 8. Just remember: farts and bathroom humor is funny. Download one of the sound files. Also, scroll down to the bottom of the page to see what this guy did. With that, I'm done. And it's probably a good thing too.

Lemony Lick-its... A Series Of Unfortunate Links

1. A name that is so unfortunate: here 2. An unfortunate date for the future. No hands or body... It just doesn't seem that fun. The product is here, but it still looks like several years until a workable version is ready. I want my flying car and Cherry 2000 now dammit! 3. It's unfortunate I wasn't born this guy (You know what I like about high school girls?) If you haven't seen Dazed and Confused, go rent it now! For the gals. Enjoy. 4. It's unfortunate I wasn't heavily sedated when watching: this I'm not sure... It's either Nine Inch Nails, or some kind of Japanese tentacle porn video without the tentacles. 5. An unfortunate way for the people tied up in my basement to send messages: Bloody Finger"M"ails. 6. An unfortunate french guy... Who wudda guessed it was a frenchie freak? 7. An unfortunate, although funny, headline is here Look up the unfortunate word definition here.

You're A Looney. New York Anti-War Concert

You'd think with Hollywood in the west, and New York in the east, a war protest concert on either coast would bring out the big guns. Richard Dreyfuss might be too worn out from attending the National Press Club in Washington recently to show up in New York for an "anti-war concert". He wasn't listed in the article as scheduled to appear, but he has a month to recuperate. I can understand if he misses the show... Saying Bush should be impeached, and trying to defend that statement without facts, or anyone to challenge your wild assertions must be very draining for such an accomplished thespian. The video of his looney statements are at the link above, and here. These remarks come from a man that declared himself at the Press Club event a "'libo-conservo-middle-of-the-roado,' and I have been for many years." Funny that Mr. Dreyfuss has, according to the Federal Election Commission, given donations only to liberal democrats and their groups: (Dianne Feinstein, Al Gore, John Kerry, and Barbara Boxer are just four of the 87 entries totaling over $41,000 from 1987 to present). Data Provided by the Federal Election Commission as of 2/13/06 Yeah Rich, 40K, all to democratic party members, is what I call being middle of the road-o. So what if Rich isn't scheduled to appear, there's still a stellar line-up of the biggest and brightest the left has to offer..... People like Cindy Ali-Hassan Sheehan, or Michael Stipe from REM. What's the frequency Michael? And where have you been over the last 15 or so years? Oh, I forgot, your music became irrelevant in 1992. Other big name stars include: Bright Eyes, Rufus Wainwright, Fischerspooner, Public Enemy's Chuck D, Devendra Banhart and Peaches (??????) And these people are... Who??? What happened? Green Day couldn't find time to show up? I'm going to take a wild guess that some groups will show up that are not mentioned in the article below. Those groups will include The Communist Party of America, ELF, Hamas (AKA death to Israel) supporters, and people selling sandwhiches and Che Guevara shirts from the back of their cars. There's also plenty of media coverage to promote this stink wagon. Well, actually the article only mentioned one. Janeane Garafalo will broadcast her Air America show "The Majority Report" from the concert. Janeane, you might want to think about renaming the show to something that reflects your listeners... How about the "Sweaty, Unshaven Armpit Report?" Or the "I Smell Like Cheese" report. Either title would cover you and your show as a whole. What you have now, using that title, and saying you are reporting for the majority, is laughable. Maybe Sheehan-istan will bring Hugo Chavez as her date. Just a bit of Air America's accounting difficulties are here. And the anti-whatever concert story in New York is here.

Links...... From Hell

1. Most disturbing flash video ever is here. 2. You know when you've had too much to drink when... And no that's not me. http://pics.ntm.at/lol/waytodrunk.jpg 3. BRAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSS!!!!!!!!! Cakes for the dead. Zombie goodness. 4. If you have some odd, slightly illegal in 23 states kink that you enjoy, I'd probably call you a sick bastard, and then realize your right to chase squirrels while dressed as a penguin is protected as long as it doesn't interfere with my dressing as an axe murderer with a penchant for hacking penguins to death. (Of course I'm not serious) But, having a phone fetish like this should get you a kick in the ass for wasting money on a really lame porn site. (Safe for work) 5. Piss off the muslims. No... not the ridiculous cartoon nonsense... Enjoy the wonderful aroma of PORK in your Car!, in your Bathroom!, or in the Laundry Room! Bacon air fresheners make excellent gifts too, so order today! If they only had scrambled eggs smell, I'd so buy it. One more from the above site: Super Action Jesus with loaves and fishes, and wine jug included. And it's only $12.95!!! Hang on... I feel rage and anger at someone using my Lord and savior as a marketing tool. I think I should go out among humanity and kill, and burn, and destroy, just to show Christianity is a religion of peace and understanding... Oh, I'm sorry. I got my religions mixed up. Christians don't do that. My bad. 6. The Christopher Reeve Game. Like the old Moon Lander Game from the 80's, but with now dead Superman Christopher Reeve. What? Christopher Reeve is dead? Here's a tribute. I have just punched my ticket to hell with the link above. 7. Old, but still funny. It's Strategery-rific. 8. It's so nice to be a white, upwardly mobile, guy. But someone shoot me if they ever hear stuff like this coming from my mouth. Actually, some of the words are funny. But I credit really smart Wall Street types for those. 9. I blame the acid in the Dr. Pepper for this site: Alien-abduction-lotus blossoms-muscle-man-creepy-space-dude-and-Planet-of-the-Apes. My head hurts now.

Idiot!

Bush: Arab Co. Port Deal Should Proceed Port poop I say again.... Idiot! Here is a big reason this deal needs to be stopped: Jimmy "I've had impure thoughts" Carter says he backs Bush's stand on the seaport-operations deal. Hey, W! If you're getting support from JC on anything, it's probably a good time to reconsider your position. Hell, I'd be wary receiving support on this from any president still alive... And that goes for your dad too. Doesn't anyone else (besides senators and congressmen who know they will be looking for new jobs if this passes) see a problem here? Someone tell Bush to get his happy ass down on the border to see what's happening to this country. Then, tell him about the very real nightmare of gigantic sea vessels pulling right next to New York and exploding. Make it into a children's story so it's easier for him to understand...... Ok, are you libs happy I trash-talked the president? Anyway.................. What could possibly go wrong when you have a state with ties to terrorism watching over your economic life-blood of imports and exports? You think there are problems on the borders now? Just wait until you see the bribes to foreign port officials that are made to move "cargo" into the country that some would not want authorities to know about. A little plague perhaps? Hey George, how about a small "nuk-u-lar" device to take out New York, Boston, LA, or maybe Washington? Is any of this sinking through? You can bet your sweet ass I'm jumping on this one. W doesn't seem to care about the border, so what makes you think he would care about the ports? And God help us all if this is allowed to continue. Take a moment, track down your representative in Washington, DC, or your state, and drop them a note right now. Bush is dead wrong about this, and no matter what your political affiliation is, you better worry about it too, and shake up the authorities while there's still time. Bush-sucking-up will continue at a later date when I'm not pissed off because someone (cough Bush cough) wants to leave our safety up to the pencil pusher in Durka-durkastan who can be bribbed with a camel and a hairy troll that passes for an Arabian version of Scarlett Johansson.

Attack Of The Links

1. Someone just dropped acid in my Diet Dr. Pepper. This is just strange. 2. Yes, I'm still single, and still looking for a date, but I'm not this desperate. Question: Do they really allow conjugal visits?..... Hmmm, maybe I can work this angle. I think there was a Seinfeld eppisode about that too. As long as they don't know where I live when they get out, I'll be alright. 3. I really like this site. I hate rap, (I don't call it music) but this is funny. Every time I hear one of those "If you could have dinner with 4 people alive or dead, who would they be?" questions, I know Hawking would be one. The music on the site is NSFW, ok? Download if you want. 4. Stress Relief here and Here. Bubblewrap goodness. If nothing else, you'll piss off everyone working around you. 5. Hawking would eat this guy as an appetizer. (Give it time to load, or right click and save as) 6. Whoa!!! And I don't mean like 'Neo Matrix whoa' either.

So Very Wrong... Links Part 2

1. I just want to know where they got the mask. Burger King

2. Is the rest of the world just really stupid, or stuck in the 80's? What is the fascination with David Hasslehoff?

3. Evil Jedi. You were the chosen one!!!!! Shut up grandma, or I'll break you in half.

4. I hate hippies. If you want to see how a nation dies, just take a generation that refuses to grow up, and have them breed hippy-wanna-be children. Thank God most of this lifestyle is limited to the west coast. (MP4 quicktime file. Give it a moment to load.)

5. libs are freaks. Where's the Ted Kennedy swimming game?

I Agree With Democrats?

Is the world coming to an end? I am actually going to say "thank you" to the democrats for trying to block this port deal. There's an old saying which applies here: You don't shit where you sleep. It's crude but it's true. In my little world that statement means you don't open yourself up to 9/11 part 2. Story here Democrats plan bill to block Dubai port deal By Jeremy Pelofsky WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Two U.S. Democratic senators said on Friday they would introduce legislation aimed at blocking Dubai Ports World from buying a company that operates several U.S. shipping ports because of security concerns. Robert Menendez of New Jersey and Hillary Clinton of New York said they would offer a measure to ban companies owned or controlled by foreign governments from acquiring U.S. port operations. Holy crap. Clinton just moved to the right of Bush. "We wouldn't turn the border patrol or the customs service over to a foreign government, and we can't afford to turn our ports over to one either," Menendez said in a statement. The Senate Banking Committee also plans to hold a hearing on the issue later this month. If my life depended on voting for Hellery as president, I'd take death. But you have to admit the lady has some righteous stones going after this issue. The UAE company would gain control over the management of major U.S. ports in New York and New Jersey, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New Orleans and Miami and that has sparked national security concerns among lawmakers. "I will be working with Senator Menendez to introduce legislation that will prohibit the sale of ports to foreign governments," Clinton said in a statement. U.S. officials have said the UAE has been a solid and cooperative partner in the fight against terrorism, and have praised the UAE for steps to protect its booming financial sector against abuse by terrorism financiers. ...If it walks like a duck... Money for the September 11 attacks was wired through the UAE's banking system, according to U.S. officials. Two of the September 11 hijackers were UAE citizens. ...and it quacks like a duck... Similar concerns were raised when a China state-controlled oil company tried to acquire the U.S. oil company Unocal. After pressure from U.S. lawmakers, the foreign company eventually dropped its bid. ...it's probably a duck. Here's hoping the Bush administration gets smacked down, and the Republicans open their eyes.

So Very Wrong.... Links

Bonus first: Here's a good example of why some people: (Cough rioting muslims cough) should shut the hell up. Check this out Al-Zwahania...-whatever the hell your names are, me, as a Christian, seeing the humor in my religion. Don't think God has a sense of humor? I think He does because He made mohammed, and zebras. How much more funny could that be? Vote for Pedro, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John 1. Some children's books should never see the light of day. Others are made up, so of course they're alright. With titles like "Visions In Terry Schiavo's Head," "The Mystery of 'Shrooms," and a Choose Your Own Adventure book titled: "Don't Bother, You Die In Most Of The Endings Anyway," you know they must be good reading for the kids.

2. NINJAAAAAA. Or, Chuck Norris love you long time.

3. I am the Centipede King. I can do anything... Or not. (That's a Doors reference for those that don't know.)

4. Yes I'm single. But there's not a chance in hell you'd see me with this.

5. White guys can't jump, or dance.

6. I hear banjos.

No Comment

Cheeky Monkeys

The only reason I'm using the title above is to show what a bunch of horny buggers I have wandering through here. At the bottom of this page is my stat counter. It tells me who has stopped by the page, who referred them, or what they were looking for based on search engines. Pretty cool actually. Here's a breakdown of what people are looking for via search engines: Debra Lafavre Monday, 13th: http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=debra+lafavre&FORM=SSNO Tuesday, 14th: http://www.google.co.uk/search">www.google.co.uk/search client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%debra+lafavre&meta=&btnG=Google+Search Angela Comer Thursday, 15th: google.com.vn/search?hl=vi&q=%22angela+comer%22%2B%2226%22&meta The guy searching above is from Hanoi, Vietnam. Either he's an American, or Angela has a much wider fan base than I originally thought possible. Julie Hyman (Mmmmmm, sweet, beautiful Julie) Monday, 13th: google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=Julie+Hyman+Bloomberg&btnG=Google+Search&meta The most searched for items on this site since starting in July are: 1. Comer: 4.74%: She ran off with her student to Mexico. 2. Angela: 4.74%: Same as above. Comer is Angela's last name. 3. Lafavre: 3.41%: Just Google her. 4. Debra: 3.41%: Lafavre's first name. 5. Julie: 2.22%: As in Julia Hyman from Bloomberg news. 6. Hyman: 2.22%: I assume this is for Julie above, but I could be wrong. 7. Striptease: 1.19%: From the Canadian dorm stripper. The following are associated with #7 and each run from 1.19% to 0.99%: from, ontario, western, university, Canada Needless to say, few people stop by for my in depth analysis of Cheney and his shotgun shells. I honestly don't know whether to look upon these stats with pride, or fear, that there are so many other perves online. Next post: How to search for porn using proxies so no one knows what sites you visit... Or something like that.

Evil Links

1. What would make anyone buy this...."The Keeper" is only $35.00, and I think I'd run in horror if I ever met anyone who would actually wear it.

2. It's old news, but from a very reliable source. The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. Help prevent depression today!

3. This has to hurt.

4. Pavarotti loves the elephants.

5. A rather unfortunate name. The Crying Game, anyone?

6. British humor. Check out the other movies on their site.

7. One hit of acid, or two? I'm taking a guess and saying the creators went with 10.

At Least Someone In Hollywierd Has A Brain

Harrison Ford story here A breath of fresh air from Hollywood? Almost. I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that Harrison Ford is a liberal, and probably tithes a percentage of his acting paycheck to liberal causes, and more power to him for that, but sometimes the measure of a man can be demonstrated by knowing when to keep your mouth shut. Mr. Ford's refusal to align himself with a political issue reminds me of singer Leann Rimes. Ms. Rimes was asked after the last election how she voted. She replied simply (I'm paraphrasing here) "That's my business." The actor, a Vietnam War conscientious objector, is often asked for his opinion on the war in Iraq and US President GEORGE W BUSH's term, Open mouth disease is a problem at every level of Hollywood, and that line of questioning is enough to make me want to bitch slap any reporter who asks it. but he always feels it's best to stay silent on such matters. He explains, "I grew up in the mid-west. You don't ask what a person's religion is, you don't ask what their politics are, you don't ask how much money they make and I pretty much still have that attitude about it. "It's none of anybodies business and I don't advantage anyone by telling them what my personal politics are... The arguments are much too subtle to be entered in that way, to my mind. "There are things that I think are happening in he world that are egregious mistakes but I'm only operating out of my own box and I don't have any expertise. I'm a voter... I have one vote, that's all I should have." Stealing the title of Laura Ingraham's book "Shut Up And Sing" and applying it to Mr. Ford, I'd say it looks like he took that advice to heart. And no matter what his political view, I respect him for having the guts to tell America it is none of their business what he believes, or say how others should believe, simply because he is an actor.

A Biased Press? Really?

Short and sweet since I have to get to work: I mentioned yesterday about several television news announcers state VP Cheney shot a man with buckshot. I'll chalk that statement up to liberal pansy-boys who are afraid of guns in the first place, and wouldn't know a Super Soaker water pistol from a real gun. Needless to say, Cheney did NOT fire on Harry Whittington with buckshot. If that had happened, Whittington would probably be dead. The link that I posted yesterday to the Cheney story clearly states: Harry Whittington "rested well last night," said Peter Banko, hospital administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial. The hospital listed Whittington's condition as "very stable," he said. That is from an AP writer Lynn Brezosky. Today I open up the news sites and find a different story being reported. Mr. Whittington, according to Mark Leibovich at the Washington Post claims: "The accident left the 78-year-old man seriously injured." Washington Post story here So you can be seriously injured and be able to leave the hospital in 72 hours? With that statement, could I say a woman who gave birth, but stays in the hospital a couple of days for observation is seriously injured? Or maybe Leibovich got it wrong by infusing his own bias in the story. Oh, one small item I saved for the end... A statement from hospital admin Banko yesterday about Whittington's condition: "It's not critical. It's not serious."

Strange. I thought I just read Leibovich saying Whittington was in serious condition. Maybe he needs his brain scanned to check for "serious conditions" that drained away any semblance of neutral reporting.

Hunting Wabbits?

Kinda looks like Cheney, doesn't it?

Shhhhh.... Be wewy wewy quiet

Alright, here's the deal... Cheney was hunting quail and peppered a guy with shot. Notice I did not say buckshot. I've already heard several television talking heads use the term buckshot. So, as a public service to the idiots that report news, here's a short class on hunting and shells. First, for shotguns, the ammunition is not called a bullet, it is called a shell. Second, there are two basic kinds of shells for shotguns: Birdshot, as seen on the left, and buckshot (larger game loads) on the right. Buckshot can also have a single slug projectile for deer, mountain lion, etc... The difference in size is visually obvious. For those still having difficulty with the type of shell used, Cheney was using the shell on the left. Quail are hearty birds, and they taste great, but if you decide to hunt quail with buckshot, there will not be enough bird left to eat once you find all the pieces that were blown apart. Shot works great at bringing birds down, but unless you are on target (most hunters are not) with a spray of pellets, you'll probably stun the bird. In many cases, you do not get a clean shot at a bird using small shot, and the shot spray may be no larger than a basketball heading in a straight line toward a moving object that change directions before you can blink. You may wing it, or stun it, so you have to physically break the neck of the bird to kill it. If you hunt, you take the risk of being peppered. It has happened to me on numerous occasions. And while I've never been point blank at the business end, I've had several stingers come at me through trees. As small as the shot is, it can penetrate a few millimeters, or become embedded in tissue not visible through the skin. And yes I've had to dig out a couple of pieces before. The only reason I bring all this up is to say Cheney spraying someone with shot should not be a clarion call for Dems to want more gun control, or another way to paint Cheney as the boogie man. But I'm waiting for it: Sarah Brady, Cindy Sheehan, PETA... Just give them a few days. On the plus side to all this, at least Cheney didn't feel the need to snap his friend's neck after shooting him.

Seriously... What The Hell?

Preface statement: My family (some 200 years ago) came from Scotland and Ireland to Texas. So my roots are in Europe. I just have to know what the hell is Italy thinking allowing this: to be in the opening of the Olympics. "In what executive producer Marco Bacilli described as an "iconic moment," silver-clad dancers appeared with big, white bubbles stuck to their heads." Jerry Lewis is respected in france... I guess Howie Mandel is respected in Italy: Someone in Italy needs to be beaten... badly. In other Olympic news: Olympic Opening Ceremony "In a tribute to the seven countries abutting the majestic Alps _ including Austria, Germany and France _ dancers wearing green sheaths pranced near brightly painted fake cows pulled on rollers. It was a homage to mountain life and livestock, and to cheer both, the stadium audience had been supplied with clanging cow bells." Maybe I was too hard earlier. You can't go wrong with more cowbell.

The Weekend Stuff

1. There was once a preacher who not only spoke to God, but God spoke to others through him... On television. He's still around on the BET cable channel at 3 in the morning. At least I think he is, after one night of sleepless channel surfing. The original Smilin' Bob A little background: Robert Tilton, or "Brother Bob" as he was known around town, had a good size church in a city outside Dallas. Word of Faith (the name of the church) and Success N Life (his television show) went national in the late 80's. By the early 90's Bob was disgraced by a news report showing his lifestyle didn't exactly parrallel God's idea of a good and honest life. He was shown as a fraud. (who wudda thought it?) Basically the guy was stealing money, buying houses and cars, and pretty much being as un-Christian as you could be without being a muslim. Around 1990 a video started making the rounds of the bars and colleges that I assume was made here in Dallas. It was a smaller world back then. This video showed dear brother Bob in all his flatulent charismatic glory. I know you've seen them before, but one more time won't hurt. Both videos 56K friendly. 2. Do not taunt Happy SmartKlamp!!!! Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy SmartKlamp. Caution: Happy SmartKlamp may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy SmartKlamp Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. My entire penis just retracted inside my body and snuggled up next to my intestines because of this site. 3. I don't know what it is. I don't want to know what it is. But I believe I am going to have nightmares from this. I also believe in hell, and something tells me this is what it will be like.

Just Passing It Along

Feel free to use any of the pictures below, or visit here or here or here for all your "Alalalalalalalalalalah" needs. (The Zombietime site is getting hammered, so you may not be able to get in. Mirror site at Aarons, the second link) And thanks to D. T. Devareaux for the image just below. See the third link above for the info behind it. The picture above is getting several blogs in trouble. No, not the Danish one, I'm talking about the evil grinning bastard above the Danish flag. The whole issue at hand is simple: muslims going wild in the streets over pictures published 6 months ago... WTF? Last time I checked, there were some strong words when a "piece of art" (someone else's words, not mine) had a crucifix in a jar of urine. I'm not Catholic, but I found that to be in poor taste and demeaning to an entire religion. But, the one thing I (or anyone else if I remember correctly) did not do was burn things, kill people, or destroy property. I'm strong enough in the faith I have not to go threatening death to your camel herd if you have an opinion differing from mine. I hate to lump an entire group of people into a classification (murdering apes with small penises), and I'm not doing it here (terrorist donkey tossers), but you have to wonder about a group's character when outright defamation of a religious icon occurs, and people get upset, but don't act like murdering thugs, or three or four cartoons show up from over six months ago, and another group uses that as an impetus to incite death threats, arson, and general primal behavior. Fatwa this: Kiss my infidel ass.

Brain Farts

1. Not just gay, but really Gay. Like Brokeback Mountain in a San Francisco bath house gay. Safe for work, but dude, face it, the spandex combined with the receding-hair mullet used as reigns by your lover, indicates you might just be gay.

2. I really want to be married some day. Then I read this. Being old, bitter, and single doesn't sound too bad, does it? 3.1415 Not so long ago Stephen King had a musical made from his first book Carrie. Carrie the musical left me with a burning question: Why?

What... you were expecting some deep philosophical question exploring the psychological boundaries between a religiously demented mother and her telekenetic daughter?

While I never saw it, or heard the songs, I'm thinking Carrie was supposed to be a dark musical like Phantom of the Opera. Phantom has sex appeal and a strong musical score. Carrie has tampons and pig blood. Anyone else see a difference? Sometimes it's best to leave things alone. Someone (Stephen King, the local union behind the stage lighting, or maybe the director) missed the genetic programming memo saying it would be a bad idea to do a musical version of Carrie. It's a shame nobody was there to shoot them so they couldn't continue.

(EDIT): I just found this review and thought I'd post some "critical analysis." http://www.musicals101.com/1980bway2.htm Based on Stephen King's best-selling horror novel and subsequent hit film, the stage version was so weak that experienced producers refused to touch it.... As New York previews dragged on, theatergoers reacted with either silent shock or loud catcalls of rage. A tiny but vocal minority cheered it on, feeding false hopes. By combining an incoherent script, tacky special effects, hideous choreography and lyrics like "Kill the pig, pig, pig," Carrie set a new standard for "bad." Lightning appears to have struck twice with bizarre ways to dupe financial backers of musicals, because there was also a Silence of the Lambs musical. I'll let the songs from the production speak for what I'm sure is a quality presentation. #'s 2 and 6 must have brought down the house. 1. Silence of the Lambs* - The Lambs 2. If I Could Smell Her Cunt - Dr. Lecter 3. Are You About a Size 14? - Buffalo Bill 4. Quid Pro Quo - Clarice and Dr. Lecter 5. It's Me! - Dr. Lecter and the Police 6. Put the Fucking Lotion in the Basket - Buffalo Bill and Catherine 7. We're Goin' In - The FBI, Buffalo Bill and Clarice 8. In the Dark with a Maniac - Clarice, Buffalo Bill and Catherine 9. Silence of the Lambs* (Reprise and Finale) - The Lambs, The FBI, Clarice and Dr. Lecter If you buy the Cd (available at the website), you get a bonus track not included in the musical called: I'd Fuck Me - Buffalo Bill and Catherine.

(My check is in the mail for two copies.)

Oddities

Background story here for those living under a rock the last 10 years. 1. Nothing says sweet monkey loving like teacher-student sex. What better way to prove your love than to wed the student? Mary Letourneau and her formally underage boytoy have their wedding registry here. They have expensive tastes, so I hope my gift basket of love oils and tidy wipes are alright. 2. (NSFW) My favorite flash of all time here. I liked it so much I bought the hat from Cafe Press. 3. Sweet, clean GoDaddy.com full commercial babe here. 4. I use the term WTF? often, but this time I really mean it: WTF is this? Give it a moment to load, and then worship your new poodle overlords. 5. Watch Cletus and Bo in jail here. This live cam comes to you courtesy of Anderson County Tennessee. Squeal like a pig!!!!!! 6. This child will be scarred for the rest of his life. "Daddy!!! Get off mommy. You're hurting her!!!!" 7. Sweet. The Olympics are on again...... What do you mean it's the Winter Games? 8. Sometimes the Summer Olympics aren't good. After watching this, my testicles just crawled back up into my body. (Give it a moment to load) 9. One of the most tense videos I have ever seen. Ali G and Andy Rooney (Quicktime movie) I just love watching Andy getting bitch-slapped around. 10. Finally... Rate my vomit. I'm sorry.

Heads Up, Or Heads Off?

A little heads up, before it's heads off. Know who and what you are up against, and never forget why. A wealth of info here: http://michellemalkin.com/archives/004491.htm

Other news sites below:

Four die in fresh cartoon protests Iran daily holds contest for Holocaust cartoons Castro invites Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Cuba Christian Arabs afraid of muslim Arabs? Say it ain't so: "That's really interesting," I say. "You've all been telling me that we have nothing to worry about from your Muslim neighbors, but you won't allow yourself to be quoted saying that in the same article in which you say you've heard them make remarks supporting terrorism -- because you are afraid you will be physically injured. What does that tell us?" Silence. Muslim cartoon fury claims lives Iranians hurl petrol bombs at Austrian embassy Nordic states fear spread of Mid East attacks The above story was originally titled: Nordic states fear spread of "islamic Rage." Funny how that changed to a more benign sounding title 30 minutes after it was originally posted. And possibly my favorite... If these animals can't find something to burn or behead, they go looking for Danish websites to destroy.

From the story above a hacker... excuse me... a h4xor left the following on a gaming website: Hacked by RedHackeR" with the following statement: "IM SORRY, STOP WAR, DON'T TOUCH ALL ISLAM COUNTRY! F[***] DENMARK, F[***] YOUR GOVERMENT!!!' Fu[*]king idiot. As the world claimed after 9/11 that they too were American.

We should stand up and call ourselves Danes: Take Note Cardiff: We Are All Danes Now Also, show your support for the Danes through this site, and this site: "If you Americans look with this great sympathy on our case, couldn't you then raise a consumer support of DK in the US? The opposite of a boycott. A movement of: "Buy Danish!" Please? You can easily eat and digest all our famous Danish cheese at your millions of breakfast-tables from Seattle to Atlanta. Then the boycott (which is escalating fast down there now) will be harmless. Other items to remember in your purchases are: Danish butter cookies, Danish Havarti cheese, Carlsberg and Tuborg Beers. Arla owns White Clover Dairy, a Wisconsin company so buy that brand. It comes under White Clover and Holland Farm. Danish Crown hams ( DAK (sold at Sam clubs)... baby back ribs, because they come from Denmark. You can shop online at Danish Food and Danish Deli Foods. You can also buy gorgeous Danish porcelain and LEGO for the kids. My final thought is this: There is almost nothing more different in the world than the outlook and opinion of an American and a European, but it really is about to become "us" against "those who would prefer to live in the 13th century." Governmental issues aside, I think I prefer to live with those who still understand and appreciate freedom in all its forms.

I wonder if I could get a Danish ham sent to Iran?

WTF 2

1. Maybe some of the girls posted here are related to the officials in the Super Bowl, and Ben had a few "additional" pictures of them he was willing to sell if the game didn't "go their way." Nudge, nudge... 2. You think there was a reason he was arrested? 3. Another Smoking Gun... Stripper goodness ... How about 25 of them? By the way... There's a reason most strip clubs are not brightly lit. 4. Teach yourself the ancient art of the autopsy? Kind of cool, actually. 5. Can't.... Look.... Away.... Sometimes the internet has little nuggets like this that really confuse me. Am I just too old to get it anymore?

WTF???

1. This disturbs me. However, I could watch it all day.

2. Here is every single web cliche in one Flash video. I did not see Eric Estrada doing the "You're a homo" thing, but I got tired of watching. 3. Pimp yo mouf 4. ...And the angel opened the fourth seal and David Hasselhoff sang...... 5. Want something stuck in your head all day? Click here. More later