It's Gloooooorious! ('Old School' movie reference)

VOTE ALREADY I've been nominated: Best so far blog awards in the humor division. Thank you Peakah. Like they always say: "Win or lose, just being nominated is an honor." Which everyone knows is a steaming pile of crap. If you don't want to win, no matter what subject you're competing in, you should get out of the pool, dry off, and hang yourself in the shower room. Problem with that is the police will probably believe you had some kind of autoerotic asphyxiation thing going on. I've never understood doing that, but I guess that's a post for a later date. Most people who visit this site are not here for the humor, ranting, or name calling. Most people show up because of certain names. What I have noticed is how people are driven to this page from other places. A very large tip of a hat should go to Peakah and the American Princess (See links on the right) for having the guts to link me without really checking into my background. Suckers!!! :) They were my first real referrals. And seriously, they were very kind to do so. The weirdest thing is if you go to my hit counter toward the bottom of the page (it looks like a little blue ball) you'll find that most searches that lead to my site come from people looking for pictures of Angela Comer (Teacher that ran off to Mexico with her 14 year-old student), Debra Lafavre: (Just Google her and you'll remember), the Canadian dorm room college stripper, sweet and beautiful Julie Hyman of Bloomberg News, and always perky, oh so hot Becky Quick from CNBC. I tell you, just listing those 5 names again in this post will pull in an additional 20 hits today alone. Don't believe me? Have a look at the stat counter wedged between, and to the left of the two cartoons below, and then check it again tonight. I could simply list a bunch (Teenage Flashers) of names in a string to (Highschool Girls Shower) pull in traffic, (Lesbian Cheerleaders) if I wanted, but that's not what I'm (Jennifer Love Hewitt Topless Beach Photos) looking for. I don't do this blog for any other reason than to blow off steam. Period. I don't do it to be recognized. I don't do it for hits. I do it because I'm a smartass that really can't say out loud in public most of what I post here. It's not that I say a lot that's over the top, but sometimes..... As an example, go back in my links to Hunter Thompson's death. I think I got more replies on that post than any other. Sure, it was only 4 replies, but it was 4 more than any other article on the page. For those too lazy to go look it up (I am. That's why I don't have a link to it in this post) I basically said It was a good thing that Hunter killed himself. Did I really mean that? No, of course not. But I said it. I published it. And I'll stand by it based on the reasons I gave for my rant: Death of the Hippy generation, liberals celebrating Hunter's death by suicide, and Johnny Depp's inane attempt to carry out what he believed was Hunter's last wish firing his ashes out of a canon, then spending the remainder of the evening trying to channel Hunter's spirit. I did take a moment to look up Steve's (Hog On Ice) take on Hunter, as Hunter. Please have a look: http://huffingtonstoast.com/?p=391 or here: http://huffingtonstoast.com/?author=21 for the full series. If someone finds my blog funny, I'm happy. If it makes them think, great. If it upsets them, that's good too. And if it makes them reply, that's even better since I'll have someone to scream at besides myself. I will in turn defer to someone like Peakah for conciseness, E.M. at the American Princess for excellent analysis on political and law issues, or Steve at Hogonice.com for real humor with an edge. It's writing like Steve's, Peakah's and E.M.'s that helps me to understand how far I have to go before anyone should consider this blog as funny or thought provoking. I'm not in the same ballpark as 99.9% of the people I link on the right side of the page, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be in the same ballpark. All three have been constants in the short six months I've had this site. In this case, and in all honesty, considering the company I enjoy reading, win or loose, it really is an honor just to be recognized. UPDATE: I just checked the stats and I've had two referrals since this post went up looking for info on Angela Comer, and another one looking for Julie Hyman. See? I told you. No hits yet for the Highschool Girls Shower, or Jennifer Love Hewitt, but there's still plenty of day left.

The World Is Ending

I just heard a very loud trumpet blast. The gates of Heaven just opened up. The sky turned black, and the moon turned red. What could possibly bring about the apocalypse? How about Friends returning to television. Face it, the show was something to behold when it first came on. Lisa Kudrow was quirky in a sexy sort of way. Jennifer Anniston-Pitt-Vaughn was always "cold." And Courtney Cox was... well she was the Sabrina Duncan of Charlie's Angels. It's the same way Sabrina would still be acceptable if Farrah and Kate Jackson were taken. She's not the best of the bunch, and a little manish, but still workable. And for the girls, you get to drool over Ross, the dork with a heart of gold, Chandler, a pill popping comedian (at least he was a pill popping guy a few years ago), and the all looks with no brain Joey. Eye-candy for everyone! How can you go wrong? I don't think I saw one show in the series after season two because I realized I could actually have a life and use my time better by not watching a show just to see how cold it was on the set that week. Also, do you realize this program ran on network television for 10 years? What were you people thinking? Anyway, back to the reason hell is about to be released on earth. My problem with the original series was suspension of disbelief. Usually that's not a problem. I love to read, so wrapping my mind around a different or unique storyline is not that hard. My problem came with what I call the "Monica's Apartment Theory." The short version is this: How is it possible for a struggling chef to room with a struggling masseuse/folk singer, and afford a loft apartment in downtown New York? Or, how about an out of work actor and a cube monkey being able to afford something half that size? And while I'm too lazy to find the info, I have read on a couple of occasions about the cost of living in a 1200 square foot apartment would have made it impossible for the group to make the first month's rent even if they pooled their money. Think I'm too picky? Probably. I see this (bringing back Friends) as a Hollywood problem. By that I mean television has run out of ideas just like Hollywood. I understand you are going with a proven vehicle in Friends, but there's a reason the show left the air the first time. I guess if you can reanimate a corpse for profit, why not go all out? Can ALF, Matlock, Facts of Life, or Family Ties be far behind? The trumpet blows again, and the six horsemen of the apocalypse are on the horizon: Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel look to ride a beaten horse to the ground. Conquest, War, Famine, and Death never sounded so good. http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477372 In a secret meeting before Christmas, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer and Matthew Perry reportedly agreed a $5 million apiece deal with NBC bosses in Los Angeles. UPDATE: NBC now denies there will be a Friends reunion, but did say the three guys are in talks, or have signed on, to do their own show. So the world isn't coming to an end yet... But is still going to hell at its normal rate.

A History Lesson For The Left

Until someone shows me the government has any interest in, or has ever taken a moment to listen in on any phone call I've had, I'll say the left is a group of overreacting old women with their panties in a wad. And that's a good thing. The more upset they get, the more unhinged they become. I take great satisfaction in seeing Ted Kennedy blow a gasket and look foolish with fake concern. "Hey Teddy, I'd love to see some of the records you and your brothers had/have, and used to influence other politicians, mobsters, or competition. I'm willing to bet Ted learned from Papa Joe Kennedy, who used tactics that would have made Stalin green with envy. Anyway, today's story comes from Pete Du Pont, the former governor of Delaware, and a pretty bright guy. The question: Is it legal to listen to conversations of average Americans without their knowlege? There are some that would argue against listening in on conversations no matter who is on the other end. The problem most on the left fail to grasp is the government does not care about what your Aunt Millie did on her vacation to Boca. But, they do seem to take interest when Abu from San Jose calls Mohamet from Saudi Arabia, and Mohamet or Abu have links to terrorists groups either directly or indirectly. And can you guess what the best part of all this is? It's perfectly, freaking legal. So why are the libs going nuts? It's called stirring the hornet's nest. Libs can't offer anything against an administration whose tactics have kept another 9/11 from occurring, so they scream and accuse the administration of evil hoping the unwashed and unaware masses are too stupid to read and find information (read: truth) on their own. (Spoon feed me!!!!) The perfect scenario for libs is equating listening to calls with George Orwell's 1984. The problem with their argument is this sort of thing has been an accepted practice for decades, and proven legal in multiple cases. National Guard-gate, Enron-gate, Plame-gate, Memo-gate, and now Spy-gate. It's just more polarizing fake B.S. from the left. And it's nice to see the majority of Americans are not falling for it. http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pdupont/?id=110007823 'Better Than Well Said' Ben Franklin understood the need for secrecy in matters of national security. BY PETE DU PONT Tuesday, January 17, 2006 12:01 a.m. EST Has President Bush exceeded his constitutional authority or acted illegally in authorizing wiretaps without a warrant on calls between American citizens in the United States and people abroad who are, or are suspected of having ties to, terrorists? Benjamin Franklin (whose 300th birthday is today) would not have thought so. In 1776 he and his four colleagues on the Continental Congress's foreign affairs committee (called the Committee of Secret Correspondence) unanimously agreed that they could not tell the Congress about the covert assistance France was giving the American Revolution, because it would be harmful to America if the information leaked, and "we find by fatal experience that Congress consists of too many members to keep secrets." While the Constitution was being ratified in 1787 John Jay (later the first chief justice) in Federalist No. 64 praised the Constitution for giving the president power "to manage the business of intelligence in such manner as prudence may suggest." And of course Article II of the ratified Constitution gave the president the nation's "Executive power" and states that "the President shall be the Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States." When in the early 1800s President Jefferson hired foreign mercenaries to invade Tripoli and free American hostages, he did not inform Congress in advance. In 1818, when a controversy arose over a diplomatic mission abroad, House Speaker Henry Clay told his colleagues that since the president had paid for the mission with his contingent fund it would not be "a proper subject for inquiry." So it is clear that the Constitution's original intent was that the president had the authority to take undisclosed foreign actions to protect America. In modern times, the 1947 National Security Act contained no provision for congressional oversight of presidential national-security actions. In 1968 Congress enacted the Safe Streets Act, providing that nothing in the act "shall limit the power of the President to take such actions as he deems necessary to protect the Nation against actual or potential attack or other hostile acts of a foreign power, to obtain foreign intelligence information deemed essential to the security of the United States, or to protect national security information against foreign intelligence activities." When President Carter signed the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act in 1978, his attorney general noted that it did not "take away the power of the president under the Constitution," and in 1994, when President Clinton expanded FISA, his administration agreed. As constitutional scholar Robert Turner noted in The Wall Street Journal last month, "Section 1811 of the FISA statute recognizes that in a period of authorized war the president must have some authority to engage in electronic surveillance 'without a court order.'" America's judicial system has reached the same conclusion. The Supreme Court's 1972 decision in U.S. v. U.S. District Court (known as the "Keith case") held that the Fourth Amendment's "unreasonable searches and seizures" clause applied to domestic wiretapping, but refrained from concluding that it restricts "the president's surveillance power with respect to the activities of foreign powers within or without this country." In 1980 the Carter administration argued in the Truong case that the government could conduct domestic, warrantless wiretaps of conversations between a U.S. and a Vietnamese citizen who had been passing on U.S. military intelligence to the North Vietnamese. The Supreme Court agreed. In 1982 a federal court of appeals ruled that "the National Security Agency may lawfully intercept messages between United States citizens and people overseas, even if there is no cause to believe the Americans are foreign agent." And in 2002 the FISA court said that the president has "inherent constitutional authority to conduct warrantless foreign intelligence surveillance." America is engaged in a global war against terrorists whose intention is to inflict significant damage upon us. They attacked the World Trade Center in 1993, at U.S. embassies in Africa in 1998, the USS Cole in 2000, and of course in New York and Washington in 2001. If we had known that one of those terrorist attacks was coming, could our government have electronically eavesdropped on the attackers without a warrant? If a known Al Qaeda terrorist had made a phone call from outside the country to someone inside America about these or other attacks, could our government have listened in? If we had found an American phone number on a captured terrorist's computer before one of the attacks, could the military have listened in to the next call without a warrant? If we know of a conversation set for a week from Wednesday between an Al Qaeda operative in Iraq and a sympathetic American citizen in Illinois, one could argue there is time to seek a FISA warrant. But if the CIA has only a three minute knowledge of the call, may it listen in without one? The answer to all these questions is yes; the federal courts have consistently ruled that the constitution gives the president the authority--as "Commander in Chief" or using his "executive Power"--to acquire foreign intelligence without warrants or other approvals. There is of course a different view held by America's liberal left. Democratic chairman Howard Dean somehow believes that warrantless surveillance is "a serious blow to our ability to fight and win the war on terror." And Ted Kennedy said last week that what the President has done in using his constitutional powers to listen in to terrorist communications is "such an arrogant and expansive view of executive power" that it "would have sent chills down the spines of our Founding Fathers." But of course he has it backward too--it is what Sen. Kennedy believes that would have sent chills down the spines of Benjamin Franklin and our Founding Fathers. Mr. du Pont, a former governor of Delaware, is chairman of the Dallas-based National Center for Policy Analysis. His column appears once a month.

Site Of The Week: Urban Dictionary

When I first saw this site I thought: "Great. Here's another way to ruin the English language with slang and ghetto-speak." I was soooo wrong. I'm sure this site has been online for years... I'm an old man in his 30's who's not very hip anymore. Cut me a little slack, ok? I just found it, so it's new to me. The beauty of this site is the different take people have on the same words. For example: 1. Eldercut: When an elder member of the human race doesn't feel the need to wait in line. (usually a buffet of some type) Either because their time is running out, or they have given up on any social grace. My goodness was that an eldercut....did that old person just cut in front of me at the buffet line? Well, I guess I will let them get away with it, because they can't hear me anyway. 2. Eldercut: An out-of-style haircut. A haircut your elders might order. Usually used by a young person ordering an out-of-date haircut style. Barber: What'll it be today. Jimmy: Better make it an eldercut. I've got a job interview this week. I know it's possible for the same statement to be true for any word you find in the dictionary, but this seems a little more fresh compared to what Webster has between his covers. Another genius idea includes submitting your own word and definition ala Wikipedia. That can also lead to some childish rantings: G bitch president of the united states in 2005.Liar, dog fucker, too coked out to fly national guard jet, cocky without a working cock, and a future meal for voodoo canabals. G Bitch is doing it again.What else new? Let's break this one down: No capitalization, poor sentence structure, beastiality and emasculating jokes, and it looks like his spell-check program refuses to work (must be a union spell-checker)... It's spelled 'cannibals' you idiot. Out of everything written by this contributor, I am a little confused about the last part of his post. I have no idea where Voodoo cannibals exist in today's world, or if they ever existed. Anyone care to help me out on that one? Liberals... Clueless...What else is new?

Most of the obnoxious rants came from snot rags probably no older than 13 creaming their pants over who is a better band: Green Day, whoever else is the flavor of the moment, or some Scandanavian industrial alt-goth crap. What difference does it make? I don't know. But it gives the pre-pubies something to whine about.

The final great idea to this site is the average reader has a say by voting up or down on a word and definition. Here's the site: http://www.urbandictionary.com/ A few words that had me on the floor were: Hippy Christmas: When garbage collection days allow for residents to throw away large items one week a year. This week is declared Hippie Christmas because of all of the hippies that recycle the garbage for their own use. Used in a sentence: We put all of our old windows to the curb and this guy in a pickup truck came by and took all of them. He said he was going to turn them into a green house! Blang: cheap bling. Cheap, tacky, ersatz or plastic immitation bling; especially referring to wannabe trendies. Party Socks: Socks which failed to be removed prior to intercourse. Party socks are usually the result of laziness or haste. Used in a sentence:We were totally going at it but I had to stop him because I couldn't stop laughing at his party socks. Preznit: Reference to American President George W. Bush, particularly in regards to his gangsta-style moral clarity and steadfast resolve in bringing an advancing tide of liberty and freedom to a troubled world populated by evil, evil, evil terrorists, US-hating Saddam lovers, and cowardly European moral relativists.Tha Preznit is tha shiznit, yo! Obeausity: The Theory that it would be easier to change our definition of beauty than to loose weight. There are some that are just strange. See: Hot Carl as an example. It's kind of a use at your own risk type of site, but some of the definitions are pure gold.

Sa-weet

In an effort to keep the public aware of hot teachers boinking their students, I'd like to present Angela Comer. Over and over I ask, where was she when I was in school? You may also refer back to a previous post concerning teachers and their students here. There is something that even this old man can appreciate about the story: Yeah, I know it's soooo wrong, but if I had the chance at that age (in the case of this story, he's 14) I'd jump all over it. Of course I'd have no clue what I was doing, but aren't teachers supposed to help you learn? From the picture below, I think I'd be a quick study. This story does get odd however. Throwing beer parties at your house with your students, fogging up windows in the back of your car, stays at Motel 6... all of this I get. What I don't understand is fleeing to Mexico with both the student and your toddler child in tow. I'd assume something was about to come down since the story says a federal warrant was issued for her previously. Mmmmmm.... heading across the border for desperate sex.... Almost as good as angry, drunk make-up sex. But not quite. The above picture is sweet and clean Angela Comer, age 26. She's a psycho (although a cute psycho) who went on a Mexico field trip with her 14 year-old boyfriend. My final question before the story is this: Does she speak Spanish? Based on her being whiter than white, from Kentucky, and having a Tri Delta "Thanks for coming to our mixer" smile, I'd say she probably spoke just enough Spanish to order a Mexi-melt at Taco Bell. Full story here Highlights below: A 26-year-old former teacher from Kentucky who reportedly fled that state with a teenage student with whom she had a romantic relationship has been apprehended in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico. Mexican authorities arrested Angela Comer after finding her at a Nuevo Laredo hotel with the 14-year-old boy and Comer's toddler son. Investigators also have determined Comer may have stayed at the teen's home without his grandmother knowing. "She appears to have slipped in and out," Ford said. Bonus points should be awarded to Angela for having the stones to sneak in and out of the kid's window, and for going above and beyond any other teacher/student/freaky sex story by trying to leave the country with the kid. Look, I don't sanction this behavior, but I'm a guy. What guy (especially a 14 year-old boy) wouldn't want to have this on his resume? I'm also not getting into the psychological essence of Comer, but you know she's a freak. That can be a good thing.... Especially for some horndog 14 year-old kid. And before someone comes here and breaks my balls for being some kind of pervert sitting around the park watching kids while wearing my trenchcoat, go back and read the first link at the top of this story. And quit following me to the park!!!

Will Hillary Run In 2008?

I don't know about '08, but I know she can make a mean omelet. http://www.pete-online.us/Hil/HilPub.html Some things just beg to be posted. This is one of them.

I Wonder If They Get Their Virgins?

345 Dead in Stampede on Last Day of Hajj While it isn't funny.... right now I really don't care a whole hell of a lot. What really makes this humorous is the same thing happens every year. It's a shame they can't have the hajj every week: Two or three here, a few dozen there, all because they can't wait to throw stones, or jog around a rock. Odds are pretty good we could wrap up Iraq and the rest of the middle east in a year or so if we could just get the herd to stampede. http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/01/12/D8F37N801.html MINA, Saudi Arabia Thousands of Muslim pilgrims rushing to complete a symbolic stoning ritual during the hajj tripped over luggage Thursday, causing a crush in which at least 345 people were killed, the Interior Ministry said. The stampede occurred as tens of thousands of pilgrims headed toward al-Jamarat, a series of three pillars representing the devil that the faithful pelt with stones to purge themselves of sin. Interior Ministry spokesman Maj. Gen. Mansour al-Turki said 345 people were killed. Dr. Abbasi, a Red Crecent doctor at the scene, put the number of injured at 1,000. So a big Nelson Muntz "Ha-Ha" to the newly martyred "Ha Ha hajjis." /Death to the infadel, indeed.

Connection? Saddam And Terrorists? Impossible...

The information on Saddam's regime being linked to terror groups comes in bits and pieces. So much so that it becomes hard to keep track of everything that backs up Bush's decision to take Iraq out of the picture. A great article from Stephen F. Hayes at the Weekly Standard begins to pull the pieces together, and forms a pretty convincing picture. The entire story is here. Some high points include: "...Ansar al Islam, the al Qaeda-linked terrorist group that operated in northern Iraq, the former high-ranking military intelligence officer says: "There is no question about the fact that AI had reach into Baghdad. There was an intelligence connection between that group and the regime, a financial connection between that group and the regime, and there was an equipment connection. It may have been the case that the IIS [Iraqi Intelligence Service] support for AI was meant to operate against the [anti-Saddam] Kurds. But there is no question IIS was supporting AI." ---------------------------------------------------- Most damnig of all: Spanish investigators believe that Ghasoub Ghalyoun, the man they have accused of conducting surveillance for the 9/11 attacks, who also has roots in the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood, was trained in an Iraqi terrorist camp in the early 1980s. "[Saddam] used these groups because he was interested in extending his influence and extending the influence of Iraq. There are definite and absolute ties to terrorism. The evidence is there, especially at the network level. How high up in the government was it sanctioned? I can't tell you. I don't know whether it was run by Qusay [Hussein] or [Izzat Ibrahim] al-Duri or someone else. I'm just not sure. But to say Iraq wasn't involved in terrorism is flat wrong." --------------------------------------------------- "...Rep. Dana Rohrabacher and Senators Rick Santorum and Pat Roberts--also demanded more information from the Bush administration on the status of the vast document collection." "Following several weeks of debate, a consensus has emerged: The vast majority of the 2 million captured documents should be released publicly as soon as possible." "...Rumsfeld is pushing aggressively for a massive dump of the captured documents. "He has a sense that public vetting of this information is likely to be as good an astringent as any other process we could develop," says Pentagon spokesman Larry DiRita." "The main worry, says DiRita, is that the mainstream press might cherry-pick documents and mischaracterize their meaning." That's obvious, of course. But every last file that does not have security ramifications should be made available to the public and world community. If nothing else it will help put a cork in the crazed left's "Bush lied, people died B.S." "...secret training took place primarily at three camps--in Samarra, Ramadi, and Salman Pak--and was directed by elite Iraqi military units. Interviews by U.S. government interrogators with Iraqi regime officials and military leaders corroborate the documentary evidence. Many of the fighters were drawn from terrorist groups in northern Africa with close ties to al Qaeda, chief among them Algeria's GSPC and the Sudanese Islamic Army. Some 2,000 terrorists were trained at these Iraqi camps each year from 1999 to 2002, putting the total number at or above 8,000. Intelligence officials believe that some of these terrorists returned to Iraq and are responsible for attacks against Americans and Iraqis." I believe this story will come together nicely. I'd almost bet money on it. The only reason I see to hold off reporting what is in the more than "2 million exploitable items" is to screw with the Democrats before the elections. Personally, I feel that if no WMD's are ever found (not counting the tons of mustard gas and other deadly nerve agents already found), the idea that Iraq was training humans to become individual WMD's used to kill others is more than enough reason to take them down.

Hook 'Em

Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut

Rightwing News has their list of the 20 most annoying liberals in the U.S for 2005. RW News is a joke sometimes simply because of the overboard nature of some "reports." I like to call them Fox on acid. This, on the other hand, I find amusing. I'm copying the list, but for their caustic and snide comments, you'll have to go to their site. Items in parentheses are my rantings.

20) Sean Penn (Goes to New Orleans, boat almost sinks, dumbass)

19) The Huffington Post (Pseudo-celebs want us to think they have a brain and a worthy opinion)

18) Helen Thomas (Troll doll model. It's time for the White House to lock her out in the snow one day and see if the wolves carry her off)

17) Daily Kos (Like Right Wing News, but with more fiber.... and nuts)

16) Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton (Two Bubbas. I have never understood how some very smart people could be such fools. Take a clue from 40 other presidents and keep your hole shut concerning current affairs of state.

15) Mary Mapes (I really want to know who could possibly trust her now?)

14) Maureen Dowd (Ice Princess. But I still would.)

13) The Pro-Tookie Williams Protestors (Scum of the Earth:Ed Asner, Harry Belafonte, Julian Bond, Jackson Browne, Mario Cuomo, Ted Danson, Snoop Dogg, Mike Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Danny Glover, Tom Harkin, Jesse Jackson, Bianca Jagger, Jim McDermott, the NAACP, Bonnie Raitt, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Gloria Steinem, just to name a few) 12) Harry Reid (filibuster...blah blah, evil conservative judges, blah blah.)

11) Randi Rhodes (She still alive? Is that radio thing they tried still around?)

10) Ted Rall (It stopped being cutting edge or interesting after the Vietnam War, Ted.)

9) The Mainstream Media's Katrina Coverage (The dead are feeding on the living, sharks are gang raping anyone they can find in the french (no capitalization) Quarter.)

8) Newsweek's Quran Down the Toilet Story (Newsweek, NYT, Time, are all bastions of responsible, truthful journalism.... Snort..)

7) Dick Durbin (The Turban. Nothing like slandering our own troops, eh Dickie?)

6) Blanco, Nagin, Landrieu, and Eddie Compass (The Four Horsemen of Stupidity)

5) John Murtha (I'll use the argument of others here too: Maybe the press could give ex-Marines who do support the war and still like the service, as much attention and respect as Murtha.) 4) Ward Churchill (Notice you haven't seen him around much lately? Could it be that he ran out of lies to tell? Go smok'em your peace pipe Ward, your days of playing cowboys and injuns is over.)

3) The New York Times (Drip, drip, drip.... That's the sound of leaks. Chirp, chirp... That's the sound of crickets as not even NYT Ombudsman Byron Calame can get answers from editors.)

2) Howard Dean (The gift that keeps giving. Howie, you are every conservative's wet dream.)

1) Cindy Sheehan (Too much has been said about this 'crack baby experiment gone wrong' that I don't know where to start. I've said enough about Momma Sheehan over the last year that I'd just be rehashing her Nazi "the Jews are evil" and "conspiracy" rants. She's a freak, and she deserves the number one spot.) Honorable mention goes to: Margaret Cho, Ramsey Clark, Hillary Clinton, George Clooney, Juan Cole, John Dean, The Democratic Underground, Al Franken, Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, Linda Foley, Jesse Jackson, Eason Jordan, John Kerry & Teresa Kerry, Paul Krugman, Bill Maher, Moby, Michael Moore, Michael Newdow, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, Andrew Sullivan, Kayne West, Joe Wilson, James Wolcott.

Before The Dems Start Foaming At The Mouth....... Again.

Hey boys and girls!!!! It's time for another game of The Evil Republicans...... Staring (not your) President Bush There is no question that Republicans took money from Jack Abramoff and his lobby group. But guess what, since nothing ever changes in politics, it looks like the Democrats had their hand out too. Abramoff Lobbying & Political Contributions from Greenberg Traurig LLP, PAC to Democrats, per FEC (Federal Election Commission) Records: http://www.fec.gov/ * Senator Max Baucus (D-MT) Received At Least - $22,500 * Senator Evan Bayh (D-IN) Received At Least - $6,500 * Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) Received At Least - $1,250 * Senator Jeff Bingaman (D-NM) Received At Least - $2,000 * Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) Received At Least - $20,250 * Senator Maria Cantwell (D-WA) Received At Least - $21,765 * Senator Tom Carper (D-DE) Received At Least - $7,500 * Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) Received At Least - $12,950 * Senator Kent Conrad (D-ND) Received At Least - $8,000 * Senator Jon Corzine (D-NJ) Received At Least - $7,500 * Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT) Received At Least - $14,792 * Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) Received At Least - $79,300 * Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) Received At Least - $14,000 * Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) Received At Least - $2,000 * Senator Russ Feingold (D-WI) Received At Least - $1,250 * Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA) Received At Least - $45,750 * Senator Daniel Inouye (D-HI) Received At Least - $9,000 * Senator Jim Jeffords (I-VT) Received At Least - $2,000 * Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) Received At Least - $14,250 * Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) Received At Least - $3,300 * Senator John Kerry (D-MA) Received At Least - $98,550 * Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) Received At Least - $28,000 * Senator Pat Leahy (D-VT) Received At Least - $4,000 * Senator Carl Levin (D-MI) Received At Least - $6,000 * Senator Joe Lieberman (D-CT) Received At Least - $29,830 * Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-AR) Received At Least - $14,891 * Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) Received At Least - $10,550 * Senator Patty Murray (D-WA) Received At Least - $78,991 * Senator Bill Nelson (D-FL) Received At Least - $20,168 * Senator Ben Nelson (D-NE) Received At Least - $5,200 * Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) Received At Least - $7,500 * Senator Mark Pryor (D-AR) Received At Least - $2,300 * Senator Jack Reed (D-RI) Received At Least - $3,500 * Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) Received At Least - $68,941 * Senator John Rockefeller (D-WV) Received At Least - $4,000 * Senator Ken Salazar (D-CO) Received At Least - $4,500 * Senator Paul Sarbanes (D-MD) Received At Least - $4,300 * Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) Received At Least - $29,550 * Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-MI) Received At Least - $6,250 * Senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) Received At Least - $6,250 Democratic Senatorial Campaign Cmte $423,480 Democratic Congressional Campaign Cmte $354,700 Democratic National Cmte $65,720 Patrick J. Kennedy (D-RI) $42,500 Patty Murray (D-Wash) $40,980 Charles B. Rangel (D-NY) $36,000 Harry Reid (D-Nev) $30,500 Byron L. Dorgan (D-ND) $28,000 Tom Daschle (D-SD) $26,500 Democratic Party of Michigan $23,000 Brad R. Carson (D-Okla) $20,600 Dale E. Kildee (D-Mich) $19,000 Steny H. Hoyer (D-Md) $17,500 Tom Harkin (D-Iowa) $15,500 Democratic Party of Oklahoma $15,000 Chris John (D-La) $15,000 John Breaux (D-La) $13,750 Frank Pallone, Jr (D-NJ) $13,600 Richard A. Gephardt (D-Mo) $12,000 Mary L. Landrieu (D-La) $11,500 Barney Frank (D-Mass) $11,100 Max Baucus (D-Mont) $11,000 Maria Cantwell (D-Wash) $10,000 Democratic Party of North Dakota $10,000 Nick Rahall (D-WVa) $10,000 Democratic Party of South Dakota $9,500 Democratic Party of Minnesota $9,000 Ron Kind (D-Wis) $9,000 Peter Deutsch (D-Fla) $8,500 Joe Baca (D-Calif) $8,000 Dick Durbin (D-Ill) $8,000 Xavier Becerra (D-Calif) $7,523 Tim Johnson (D-SD) $7,250 Democratic Party of New Mexico $6,250 Daniel K. Inouye (D-Hawaii) $6,000 David E. Bonior (D-Mich) $5,000 Jon S. Corzine (D-NJ) $5,000 Democratic Party of Montana $5,000 Fritz Hollings (D-SC) $5,000 Jay Inslee (D-Wash) $5,000 Thomas P. Keefe Jr. (D-Wash) $5,000 Barbara A. Mikulski (D-Md) $5,000 Deborah Ann Stabenow (D-Mich) $5,000 Earl Pomeroy (D-ND) $4,500 Tom Carper (D-Del) $4,000 Kent Conrad (D-ND) $4,000 Jerry Kleczka (D-Wis) $4,000 Sander Levin (D-Mich) $4,000 Robert T. Matsui (D-Calif) $4,000 George Miller (D-Calif) $4,000 Kalyn Cherie Free (D-Okla) $3,500 James L. Oberstar (D-Minn) $3,500 Charles J. Melancon (D-La) $3,100 Jeff Bingaman (D-NM) $3,000 Cal Dooley (D-Calif) $3,000 John B. Larson (D-Conn) $3,000 David R. Obey (D-Wis) $3,000 Ed Pastor (D-Ariz) $3,000 Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) $3,000 Richard M. Romero (D-NM) $3,000 Brad Sherman (D-Calif) $3,000 Bennie G. Thompson (D-Miss) $3,000 Max Cleland (D-Ga) $2,500 Grace Napolitano (D-Calif) $2,500 Henry A. Waxman (D-Calif) $2,500 Bill Luther (D-Minn) $2,250 Gene Taylor (D-Miss) $2,250 Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii) $2,000 Ken Bentsen (D-Texas) $2,000 Dan Boren (D-Okla) $2,000 Rosa L. DeLauro (D-Conn) $2,000 John D. Dingell (D-Mich) $2,000 Doug Dodd (D-Okla) $2,000 Ned Doucet (D-La) $2,000 Lane Evans (D-Ill) $2,000 Sam Farr (D-Calif) $2,000 John Neely Kennedy (D-La) $2,000 Carl Levin (D-Mich) $2,000 Blanche Lincoln (D-Ark) $2,000 Nita M. Lowey (D-NY) $2,000 Robert Menendez (D-NJ) $2,000 Adam Schiff (D-Calif) $2,000 Ronnie Shows (D-Miss) $2,000 Adam Smith (D-Wash) $2,000 Ellen O. Tauscher (D-Calif) $2,000 Mike Thompson (D-Calif) $2,000 Maxine Waters (D-Calif) $2,000 Peter DeFazio (D-Ore) $1,500 Norm Dicks (D-Wash) $1,500 John Kerry (D-Mass) $1,400 Barbara Boxer (D-Calif) $1,000 Dennis Cardoza (D-Calif) $1,000 Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) $1,000 Jim Costa (D-Calif) $1,000 Susan A. Davis (D-Calif) $1,000 Eliot L. Engel (D-NY) $1,000 Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif) $1,000 Tim Holden (D-Pa) $1,000 Patrick Leahy (D-Vt) $1,000 Joe Lieberman (D-Conn) $1,000 Jim Maloney (D-Conn) $1,000 David Phelps (D-Ill) $1,000 Charles S. Robb (D-Va) $1,000 Brian David Schweitzer (D-Mont) $1,000 Pete Stark (D-Calif) $1,000 Gloria Tristani (D-NM) $1,000 Derrick B. Watchman (D-Ariz) $1,000 Rick Weiland (D-SD) $1,000 Paul Wellstone (D-Minn) $1,000 Ron Wyden (D-Ore) $1,000 Bob Borski (D-Pa) $720 Shelley Berkley (D-Nev) $500 Howard L. Berman (D-Calif) $500 Henry Cuellar (D-Texas) $500 Democratic Party of Washington $500 Barbara Lee (D-Calif) $500 Loretta Sanchez (D-Calif) $500 From the Washington Post Among the biggest beneficiaries were Capitol Hill's most powerful Democrats, including Thomas A. Daschle (S.D.) and Harry M. Reid (Nev.), the top two Senate Democrats at the time, Richard A. Gephardt (Mo.), then-leader of the House Democrats, and the two lawmakers in charge of raising funds for their Democratic colleagues in both chambers, according to a Washington Post study. Reid succeeded Daschle as Democratic leader after Daschle lost his Senate seat last November. *How about a complete list of who the Greenberg Traurig LLP, PAC donates money to? http://query.nictusa.com/cgi-bin/com_supopp/C00266585/ Here's the deal... What Jack Abramoff did was wrong. He belongs in jail, picking up dropped soap in the shower, and being someone's girlfriend for a long time. I hope no one is questioning those statements. But the idea that this is another evil Bush/Republican scenario is ridiculous: i.e.: Bush is listening to my phone call right now. Bushco, by taking money from a corrupt lobbying group, proves he is the devil. Bush blew up the levees in New Orleans. Bush remotely controlled the planes on 9/11. Or, this looney left freak: here that somehow believes Bush is responsible for the mining accident in West Virginia because of who he knows in the mining industry: The defense will be that Bush didn't cause the explosion that collapsed the mine. My response will be that he didn't do anything to prevent it. In fact, if anything, the actions of his administration made the situation worse. A New York Times article dated August 9, 2004 detailed the Bush administration's close relationship with the coal mining industry. Yeah, I know I went off on a tangent... Anyway, I would hope those on the liberal side of thought agree that no matter your political affiliation, Republican or Democrat, if you break the law, you belong in jail. And please, those of you on the left, for your own health, take off the foil hat once and a while, ok? *(Tip of the hat to: Redstate.org for tracking down the political donation website)

Unless You Like Siamese Midget Twin Hot Oil Wrestling....

This is one of the most disturbing sites I've ever come in contact with. Don't believe me? How is it possible that Tonya Harding's site can be really disturbing? Besides the usual picture gallery, and background info, you get....... Fan Fiction. From the site: There are over 1400 fantasy stories written here about Tonya Harding

Oh, this is not just any fan fiction. This is fan "fantasy" fiction.

Observe:

"Surya Bonelee lifted her skirt and yanked down her panties and skating tights." or "I was fast asleep after a long day. I don’t know why‚ but I woke up and although my vision was blurred‚ I could easily make out the beautiful sight before my eyes. It was Tonya. She slowly raised her finger up to her lips and gave a gentle "ssshhh"." or "Next thing Toyna asks my wife if she can put oil on her."

The above is a small section of one page out of 60. Most of the writing is too disgusting to copy here, and it freaks me out to know there are people who think about Tonya like that.

Shame they don't have the weding night video. Not that I want to see it, but it would increase the white trash quotient to astronomical levels.

The Politics Of Music

For the Princess and group. From a record industry insider: His view of the music industry and the money. I've attached a small segment of the total piece. The table below shows a breakdown of the money, and where it goes when making and promoting a record/band. The record industry sure is hurting. The full story is at the link below. It's a good read, written by someone who knows what they are talking about, as opposed to empty suits threatening huge fines to 80 year old women. One more thing, since I have the podium... Lars, Metallica's last CD sucked. http://www.negativland.com/albini.html By: Steve Albini. Steve is an independent and corporate rock record producer most widely known for having produced Nirvana's "In Utero". These figures are representative of amounts that appear in record contracts daily. There's no need to skew the figures to make the scenario look bad, since real-life examples more than abound. income is bold and underlined, expenses are not. Advance: $ 250,000 Manager's cut: $ 37,500 Legal fees: $ 10,000 Recording Budget: $ 150,000 Producer's advance: $ 50,000 Studio fee: $ 52,500 Drum Amp, Mic and Phase "Doctors": $ 3,000 Recording tape: $ 8,000 Equipment rental: $ 5,000 Cartage and Transportation: $ 5,000 Lodgings while in studio: $ 10,000 Catering: $ 3,000 Mastering: $ 10,000 Tape copies, reference CDs, shipping tapes, misc. expenses: $ 2,000 Video budget: $ 30,000 Cameras: $ 8,000 Crew: $ 5,000 Processing and transfers: $ 3,000 Off-line: $ 2,000 On-line editing: $ 3,000 Catering: $ 1,000 Stage and construction: $ 3,000 Copies, couriers, transportation: $ 2,000 Director's fee: $ 3,000 Album Artwork: $ 5,000 Promotional photo shoot and duplication: $ 2,000 Band fund: $ 15,000 New fancy professional drum kit: $ 5,000 New fancy professional guitars [2]: $ 3,000 New fancy professional guitar amp rigs [2]: $ 4,000 New fancy potato-shaped bass guitar: $ 1,000 New fancy rack of lights bass amp: $ 1,000 Rehearsal space rental: $ 500 Big blowout party for their friends: $ 500 Tour expense [5 weeks]: $ 50,875 Bus: $ 25,000 Crew [3]: $ 7,500 Food and per diems: $ 7,875 Fuel: $ 3,000 Consumable supplies: $ 3,500 Wardrobe: $ 1,000 Promotion: $ 3,000 Tour gross income: $ 50,000 Agent's cut: $ 7,500 Manager's cut: $ 7,500 Merchandising advance: $ 20,000 Manager's cut: $ 3,000 Lawyer's fee: $ 1,000 Publishing advance: $ 20,000 Manager's cut: $ 3,000 Lawyer's fee: $ 1,000 Record sales: 250,000 @ $12 = $3,000,000 Gross retail revenue Royalty: [13% of 90% of retail]: $ 351,000 Less advance: $ 250,000 Producer's points: [3% less $50,000 advance]: $ 40,000 Promotional budget: $ 25,000 Recoupable buyout from previous label: $ 50,000 Net royalty: $ -14,000 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Record company income: Record wholesale price: $6.50 x 250,000 = $1,625,000 gross income Artist Royalties: $ 351,000 Deficit from royalties: $ 14,000 Manufacturing, packaging and distribution: @ $2.20 per record: $ 550,000 Gross profit: $ 7l0,000 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Balance Sheet: This is how much each player got paid at the end of the game. Record company: $ 710,000 Producer: $ 90,000 Manager: $ 51,000 Studio: $ 52,500 Previous label: $ 50,000 Agent: $ 7,500 Lawyer: $ 12,000 Band member net income each: $ 4,031.25 The band is now 1/4 of the way through its contract, has made the music industry more than 3 million dollars richer, but is in the hole $14,000 on royalties. The band members have each earned about 1/3 as much as they would working at a 7-11, but they got to ride in a tour bus for a month. The next album will be about the same, except that the record company will insist they spend more time and money on it. Since the previous one never "recouped," the band will have no leverage, and will oblige. The next tour will be about the same, except the merchandising advance will have already been paid, and the band, strangely enough, won't have earned any royalties from their T-shirts yet. Maybe the T-shirt guys have figured out how to count money like record company guys. Some of your friends are probably already this fucked.

Rolling Bones Gather The Green

Sir Mick's story here

STONES' US TOUR MOST SUCCESSFUL OF ALL TIME

The BROWN SUGAR band sold $162million (GBP94 million) worth of tickets and played 42 performances to 1.2 million fans.

Note: If I sold tickets starting at $150.00 each (and that was for nosebleed seats) I'd have the biggest, most successful concert tour of all time too. I don't fault them for making the cash... More power to them. But are they really relevent anymore?

Someone call me when they record an album that's worthy of my money.

/Nothing good since Tattoo You. End of rant.